Thats the spirit!
I won't fight for life: Chopper
June 15, 2008 12:00am
MARK "Chopper" Read says he is dying, but will refuse a liver transplant to save his life. "I am dying and I accept that," the convict says.
"All I want now is to do the right thing and make sure my two young boys are looked after."
Read has hepatitis C, but has ruled out a life-saving liver transplant because he does not believe he deserves one.
"A transplant would save me, but why would anybody give 53-year-old Chopper Read a liver over and above an 11-year-old girl with liver cancer?
"They wouldn't - and I wouldn't ask. I need a transplant, but I don't want a transplant."
Doctors have given Read two to five years to live.
Most recently, they said he would die in 20 months if he did not stop drinking.
Read believes he contracted hepatitis C while using shared razor blades in prison.
"The diagnosis shocked me and I hit the bottle hard," he says.
"I drank and drank and drank. If I kept drinking I would've been dead quicker."
Read's priorities are now family. He has two sons, Charlie, 8, and Roy, 4.
He continues to paint and, on the advice of Archibald Prize winner Adam Cullen, is putting his art work in storage.
"I am told my paintings will be worth $10,000 to $20,000 after my death.
"I'm working hard and putting half away for Roy and the other half for Charlie."
Read will also chase money he claims he is owed from the hit movie, Chopper.
"This film took $67 million at the box office. But nobody seems to have made a cent. I find that hard to believe.
"I was ripped off. I was stiffed. I am now doing something about it for the sake of my sons."
Criminal cult figure Read says he does not fear death.
"I am not frightened of dying," he says.
"But I want to get a few things done before I die. Most of all, I need to look after my sons."
Charlie lives in Tasmania and Roy is in Melbourne with Read.
"Fatherhood changed me," Read says. "I reckon I became a human being at 45, when I saw my first boy born.
"Then, when I was 50 and I saw my second boy born, I became a fully paid-up member of the human race.
"I have no regrets, but those moments told me what I should have been -- a good human being."
Read, who is bankrupt, says he is an attentive father.
He drops off and collects Roy from a day care centre four times a week.
"I love being a dad. It gives me the same things every other parent feels. It mostly gives me an empty pocket."
He said Charlie has potential as a boxer.
"He's got a really hard right hook. He's a southpaw. I've told his mother he should be involved in boxing," Read says.
But Roy is different.
"His mother wants to teach him tap dancing," his father says, smiling.
Read strives to impress on his boys the importance of being good, productive people.
"I don't want them to grow up doing the same things I did," he says.
"I don't want them doing 23 years, 9 months in jail, or 22 months in mental hospitals. I hope that doesn't happen to them."
His strongest words of advice to Charlie and Roy are: "Don't hop into cars with strange people."
Chopper does not want to know more about hepatitis C.
He sees a doctor twice a week and is taking medication.
"I do what I'm told and try to live a clean life. But this is killing my liver and killing me. I will die," he says.
Read blames it all, though, on jail-issue razor blades.
"They didn't even have a name for hep-C back then. It was either non hep-A or non hep-B," he says.
"Prisoners who had never used needles in their life ended up getting hep-C.
"In prison, they made us use the same razor and watch us shave in front of the mirror."
Read will not take legal action.
"How can I?" he says. "You can't sue the jail. Nobody knew about hep-C back then."
As Read battles to stay alive, he says he would not alter a chapter of his colourful life.
"Regret is like saying if you had time over again, would you change anything?" he says.
"Nah -- I would run over the same a------- if I had my time over."
However, Read does wish he could repeat prison yard time with Hoddle St killer Julian Knight.
"If I had my time over again, I would've killed Julian Knight. They put him in the same yard as me for two days," Read says.
"We were going to kill him. But he started crying and I felt sorry for him."
Read says his illness makes him feel tired.
"I sleep all the time. I have no energy. I'm listless," he says.
"I don't want to read about it or find out more about what I'm going through.
"I take a foul-tasting concoction the doctor gives me and try to get on with life, or what's left of it."
The former criminal is bemused by a rising fascination with the underworld and its characters.
"I'm making my own movie called Fatbelly," he jokes.
"It's my honest critique of (TV hit) Underbelly, which, as far as I'm concerned, has too much rooting and not enough shooting.
"And all this bull---t about gangland girls. Am I missing something? Are there broads driving around Melbourne in a Chevy firing machine guns?"
And Read says matriarch Judy Moran should shut up.
"If her sons or husband were alive she would never be allowed to speak to the camera," he says.
"They would have slapped her back underneath the kitchen table."