1) The first striking detail in this abysmal picture would be, of course, NeonMercuryASH's teeth. They're ugly, they're cartoonesque, they're non excusable. I am tempted to say that they make NeonMercuryASH look like a character ripped out of a Tim Burton movie (her arch-rival supervillain would be, in that case, an orthodontist), then again she might very well consider the metaphor as a flattery. These abysmal teeth decrease her chances of getting laid by 99%; the one remaining percent being left for the sake of statistical correctness, since there's always a chance that some subhuman desperate for a clitoris would actually pork her (we'll get to that in point 2).
2) LOL VAMPIRE FANGZ. Seriously, Mister, what the fuck were you thinking when you decided to grow your nails and paint them in such a childish fashion ? What are you, twelve year old ? A complete idiot ? A social reject ? Please, let me help you become a human being (my apologies if that might insult you, since you're supposed to be a vampire !).
3) In need of a haircut, ASAP. It is not that I mind long hair, but your lack of hair on the front makes your haircut absolutely embarrassing.
The Haircut
What is it supposed to connotate ? Breaking away from the herd, living his own "lifestyle", being deep,enigmatic, rebellious, the Baroque, the Victorian aesthetics.
What does it actually mean ? A balding moron who cannot afford a haircut.
4) Sweet merciful Jesus, she's loving it !
5) You mean to tell me that you post on the most obscure dens of unfathomable dorkdom, and you don't have a Plasma/HDTV to watch "Interview With a Vampire" on ? Get a job, Madame et Monsieur. You're healthy (supposedly) middle aged people and are supposed to be at the peak of your careers !
6) Judging by bright sunlight in NeonMercuryASH's room, and the fact that her vampiric companion is wearing a T-shirt, it is safe to assume that the weather is fairly hot in the truck that NeonMercuryASH lives in. Then, why the trench-coat ? Is it supposed to further emphasize on the "lifestyle" identity of socially unorthodox couple ? Have mercy on yourselves; you do note have to wear an embarrassing trench-coat when it's 5934 Celsius out there.
