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Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

I bought a 1/24th a team van from amazon the other day, got a military police car coming next week, when I'm bored working from home the van is going to slide along the table next to my laptop, then the car is going to flip over in slow motion.
 
The Communicator - Archer, Reed and Hoshi return from an away mission on a pre warp planet and Reed discovers he left his communicator behind. Archer and Reed go back down (in disguise) and Reed lets Archer knows he's ready to be punished (Archer is forgiving.) They track it down in a bar but some soldier type people are watching them. There's a brief fight before Archer and Reed are easily captured (Kirk would have put up more of a fight.) They're locked up as suspected enemey spies and the aliens take their phase pistols and scanners. They're questioned by a senior army type guy. They won't give anything away about their technology and, yes, Archer gets beaten up as usual. Then his alien makeup falls off and the general is really confused (red blood is also unusual.) Trip and Travis work on getting the cloaking device on the Suliban pod that's onboard the Enterprise (since the season two opener? Since 'Broken Bow'? I'm not sure. Would't it have come in handy in some other episodes?) to mount a rescue mission. Trip's arm gets cloaked. Phlox gives him a glove to wear.

The alien army guys do some shooting with the phase pistols. They medically examine Archer and Reed and conclude that they're space aliens from space. Archer gets beaten up again (yawn) and claims he's just from a geneticallyengineered soldier from an enemy nation (the planet is on the brink of war) ratherthan being a spaceman. Err, this seems just as dangerous telling them he's an alien. Like it could start a war. Hoshi intercepts a message stating that Archer and Reed are to be hung. Travis suggests Trip use his invisible arm to grope women (he doesn't really, it was a joke.) Reed lets Archer know he's willing to die for the mission. This seems to be an obsession for Reed. Archer wonders if they should invite the general to the Enterprise to explain everything but concludes that dying is the better option. The rescue mission runs into a problem when the cloak cuts out. Alien planes attack them. The cloaked Suliban pod arrives just in time and there's a phaser fight. The aliens see the Enterprise crew come out of the cloaked pod but hey who cares at this point. Archer gets the captured phasers and scanners back before they leave. Back on the Enterprise Archer and T'Pol talk about how the army guys now believe that their enemey have genetically engineered super soldiers and invisible aircraft. Then the episode just ends without us finding out if the planet went to war or anything. Thanks, Enterprise.

Remember the fun TOS episode 'A Piece of the Action'? That was much better than this was! It ended with Scotty or whoever saying they'd left their communicator on the planet and wondering what that would mean. This one answers that question and it turns out the answer is it would lead to a pretty boring situation with Archer being beat up for the seventeenth time. If this had been a TOS episode there would have been some life to it. Some flying karate kicks. There's really not much here. The episode does acknowledge that Archer fucked everything up and possibly caused a war but then it's over. We don't see the fallout. That's what the episode should have been about: the results of leaving the communicator around and Archer's lies. Instead it's just a run of the mill Enterprise episode. Trip's cloaked arm was good at least.

SCORE: 4/10


Singularity - The crew are all passed out except for Seven T'Pol. They're on a collision course with a blackhole. T'Pol tells the story and we get flashbacks to show how we got here: The Enterprise was headed towards an interesting blackhole and Archer asked Trip to repair his uncomfortable Captain's chair. Archer has been asked to write the foreword to a biography of his father. Hoshi and a chubby guy are filling in for Chef. Travis has a headache and Phox cant' diagnose it. Reed tells Archer he wants the Enterprise to have some kind of ship-wide alert during emergencies. He can't come up with a name and considers "condition red." Isn't "red alert" an actual real thing in the real world and shouldn't he just have thought of that right away? Trip suggests "Reed Alert" and that's not bad! Hoshi is upset Reed thinks her food is too salty. Archer struggles to write his foreword and starts to go crazy. Trip starts going crazy over the chair. Phlox goes crazy trying to diagnose Travis. I think it's clear by now that everyone's going crazy. Phlox sedates him to do further tests. Reed auditions alarmt noises for his new tactcal alert. Hoshi shouts "CARROTS!" at Chubby Guy.

Reed gets more and more paranoid as T'Pol tries to figure out what's going on. Trip completely takes the chair apart and tells Archer he's going to build him a throne. They get into an argument. Reed does a drill with his new alarm system (without telling anyone it's a drill.) Trip, Reed and Archer nearly come to blows. T'Pol tries to convince Archer that the crew are going mad but he's too obsessed with writing his foreword. Phlox is no help either as he's about to drill into Mayweather's head so T'Pol nerve pinches him. Everyone goes so crazy they pass out because that's what happens when you go too crazy. T'Pol wakes up Archer and runs him under a shower. She needs him to fly the ship through an asteeroid field (not sure where that came from to be honest) even though he's still a bit crazy (and wet.) He has to shoot an asteroid and luckily weapons are already charged thanks to Reed's new protocol. He gets the Enterprise through and the rest of the crew wake up, not insane. Archer reports that his chair is much better now and Trip says all he did was lower it by one centimetre.

It's very derivative of a number of TNG, DS9 (that one where Sisko was obsessed with a clock) and Voyager episodes. But in terms of recent Enterprise it's pretty good. There's some funny stuff. The crazy versions of the characters are a lot more entertaining than the regular versions. There's not much to it at all and it does drag a bit, but I found it fairly watchable. That's good for season 2 Enterprise!

SCORE: 6.5/10
 
Vanishing Point - Trip and Hoshi are on an away mission to some ruins when they're hit by a storm. The only choice is to beam them up to the Enterprise, something Hoshi is ver reluctant to do. She makes Trip go first and both beam up seems to go fine. Hoshi admits to Trip, Reed and Travis after that she doesn't feel right. They tell her about Cyrus Ramsey, an early transporter test subject who never materialised. Hoshi goes to Phlox to have him check her molecules. She also thinks her birthmark has moved. Phlox doesn't take her seriously. Hoshi sleeps in and wakes to find Trip and Travis have been taken hostage by the people on the planet, even though it was uninhabitated. She fails to translate the alien language and Archer tells her to go back to bed. I think it's clear by this point that this isn't reality. Hoshi has a shower and her hands to disappear. T'Pol tells her that some crewman translated the language and saved Trip and Travis, so Hoshi isn't needed anymore. She goes to ask Phlox what the fuck is going on. He tells her it's just the transporter freaking her out and she starts to feel better.

She talks to Trip (who is spinning around in a big wheel) about her recent problems and he basically says the same thing as Phlox, making this scene pointless. Then she phases through the gym equipment and her reflection disappears from the mirror. She finds that no one can see her, like he's Geordi and Ro or something. She watches as Phlox tells Archer that Hoshi's molecules really are coming apart. She also listens in on Trip revealing that there really was something wrong with the transporter and they just didn't notice before. Everyone thinks Hoshi is really dead now and not a cute ghost. Phlox scrapes up some goo which he believes is all that remains of Hoshi. Next she sees two aliens from the planet planting a bomb or something in the lower decks but can't tell anyone. She watches Archer trying to explain to her father that she's dead. Archer does a terrible job of it. Hoshi doesn't realise this isn't real because she's used to Archer doing a terrible job at things. She manages to send a SOS message to Archer using a blinking light but Archer is such a terrible Captain he does nothing about it (I know this is just a dream Archer but it shows that Hoshi must think Archer is a terrible Captain to dream him so incompetent.) Hoshi manages to stop the bombs going off by phasing through the like Kitty Pryde. Then she emerges on the transporter pad, alive and well. IT WAS ALL A DREAM. She was trapped in the pattern buffer for eight seconds and somehow had a forty minute dream. Trip doesn't know who Cyrus Ramsey is. Archer tells Hoshi this whole experience will help her get over her fear of transporters or something.

There are a number of Trek episodes similar to this: TNG's 'Remember Me' and 'Future Imperfect', Voyager's 'Projections'. Those episodes weren't spoiled by the fact that nothing in them really happened, so what's the difference with 'Vanishing Point'? First of all, I wouldn't say this one is bad, exactly. I think a lot of people hated it (from my limiated research) but I found it mostly watchable. Linda Park gives a very good performance, probably her best yet. The way her fears manifest themselves in her weird dream pretty much make sense. There's a few repetitive scenes, and by the time she's imagining the aliens with the bombs it's so obvious it's a dream that it's hard to care, but it held my attention all the way through. So why isn't it as good as some other "it was all a dream!" type episodes? Well, let's take 'Remember Me' as an exampole. In that episode, people start to disappear from the Enterprise and only Crusher notices. Throughout the course of the episode Crusher figures out what's going on. She realises, in a memorable momen, that there must be something wrong with the universe. And in the end she chooses to jump through the weird portal that's been appearing throughout the episode, taking the chance that it's her son Wesley trying to save her. Compare that with Hoshi here. Hoshi works out nothing! She has no moments of realisation. She does nothing to get herself out of the situation she's trapped in. She just has a weird dream and wakes up. If she'd just stayed in bed for the whole dream it would have made no difference, she still would have appeared on the transporter pad at the end. That's the difference. Yes we learn a few things about Hoshi's character here, I geuss, yes it's fairly enjoyable to watch, but it doesn't feel like a complete episode because the ending is just "AND THEN SHE WOKE UP." She doesn't achieve anything. It's like Berman and Braga have forgotten how stories work

SCORE: 6/10


Precious Cargo - The Enterprise meets some cargo pilots who need Trip's help repairing a stasis pod holding a young woman passenger. How did aliens get repairs done before Trip went to space? Trip quickly notices that the frozen chick is hot. Archer offers to just give the aliens a lift but they act a bit shifty and turn him down. The woman unexpectedly wakes up and Trip lets her out her pod, against the protests of the aliens...who then hit him with a pipe. There's some shooting with Reed and one of the aliens flies off in his ship with the woman and Trip onboard. Trip wakes up and the woman hits him with the pipe again even though he was clearly trying to help her before. The universal translator isn't working on her either, for extra annoyance. Trip gets his UT working and the woman explains she's a super famous royal diplomat who was abducted by the pilots. She's Leia, Trip's Han. Except shit. Trip wants to escape, she complains about everything in a badly acted way. She tells Trip her name but I can't be bothered looking up how to spell it so I'll just call her Shit Leia. They escape on the escape pod thing and it's a bumpy ride so she moans more.

There's more unfunny bickering. Archer puts on a little act for his prisoner, telling him the Vulcans have sent a badass inquisitor to deal with him. It is T'Pol (in different clothes!) pretending to be all scary. Archer plays good cop telling the alien he can get hi off if he helps them find his partner. This is far better than the Trip/Shit Leia stuff but still not as good as if it had been Janeway and Tuvok. Trip and the Princess eat food and she tells him she's not allowed to socialise with men. She seems to be softening to Trip just because...he's there? They crashland on a planet. They have to walk through a swamp and she doesn't like swamps. He line delivery is somehow getting worse. Trip takes his shirt off because we're on UPN. They continue to argue but sometimes look at each other in a sexy way. They nearly hit each other, fall into some water and kiss. It's not very convincing! The bad alien shows up. Trip punches him like some kind of old timey boxer and the alien goes "HA HA HA!" I'll admit, I laughed just because it was so dumb. The princess saves Trip, the Enterprise rescues them. Trip and the princess say goobye and she says when she's Queen she'll make it legal for him to shag her.

It has a reputation as being oe of the worst Trek episodes and that reputation is well earned! Okay, that one scene with Archer and T'Pol playing good cop/bad cop is okay (but there's many better such scenes in Trek) and I did like the "HA HA HA!" bit. Otherwise it's painfully bad! Padma Lakshmi is beautifl and I know she was more of a model than an actress at this time, but she is truely awful here, unable to even speak sentences convincingly. You might think that's because she's playing a royal who doesn't interact with people...but I just thinks it's because she can't act. Even Connor Trinneer, who I'm usually a fan of, is pretty bad here and not believable as a Han Solo type romantic lead at all. It's bad it's bad it's bad.

SCORE: 1/10
 
The Catwalk - Some balding aliens contact Enterprise and warn that a "neutronic wavefront" is heading their way and Enterprise has to go to Warp 7 to escape it. This presents a problemo! The storm will kill all life on the Enterprise and apparently is so big they can't just fly over or under it. Sickbay has enough shielding that everyone could survive there but Archer claims they can't fit 83 people in there (this seems dubious to me! It would be a tight fit but surely possible.) Everyone has to go on one of the catwalks in one of the warp nacelles instead, which means taking the Enterprise out of warp. There's some preparation scenes which are all reasonable but not worth describing. The three bald guys come onboard for shelter too but appear to have some kind of secret. Archer watches the storm thing out the window (it really does look like they could have just flow "up" to avoid it?) and gets T'Pol to admit the last Vulcan ship hit by such a storm lost its whole crew. Archer takes command from the makeshift Bridge in the catwalk. The storm hits and the ship is shaken about but no one is hurt. Trip and the lads play cards. Reed tells Phlox he's got motion sickness. Archer unironically watches water polo. Archer tells T'Pol she should try to get to know the crew while they're all trapped together. She's been on the ship for over a year, she obviously isn't going to.

Trip gets mad at the baldy guys for trying to cook some meat. Something goes wrong and Trip has to go to Engineering in an EV suit. Trip spots some alien bastards messing aound down there, not even wearing suits! Trip looks out the window (pretty cool shot) to see their ship docked with Enterprise. They're looking for fugitives (obviously the bald guys) and don't know the Enterprise crew are still on the ship. Phlox reports the baldies are immune to the storm and just wanted on the Enterprise to get away from the cops. They're actually deserters from the militia who they claim are bad bastards who'll kill them. The militia start to power up the warp core, which means everyone in the catwalk will die. Archer, Reed and T'Pol go out in EV suits to shut down the warp drive. Archer pretends his crew are dead as the militia start to search the ship for him. He tries to bluff that he'll blow up the ship but the bad guy's been reading his journals and knows what the ship means to Archer (this is a fairly nice touch.) There's some phasering in the kitchen. The Enterprise flies into the most turbulent part of the space storm and succeeds in scaring the space cops off the ship. T'Pol watches a movie with the crew to conclude that very slight subplot about her getting to know them.

It's quite good. It feels a lot more fresh than a lot of season 2 episodes. There hasn't been a Star Trek episode with this premise before, so well done to the writers for coming up with it! It drags in the middle for me simply because watching the Enterprise crew sitting around interacting with each other isn't as entertaining as it would be with SAY the TNG or DS9 crew. It just isn't. For me. But again I found it all pretty good!

SCORE: 7.5/10


Dawn - Trip's shuttle is shot by some alien and he crashlands on a moon. He soon discovers there's an alien there too when the alien starts shooting at him. Enterprise meets a ship of that alien's race, and of course the Captain is an asshole who hates Vulcans and stuff. He says Trip is probably already dead but reluctantly agrees to help search for him and his own crewman. Trip doesn't have a universal translator with him (lame) so can't explain to the alien that he just wants to go home. He tricks the alien with a recording and tries to steal back the transceiver the alien stole from him. The alien sweeps his leg and shoots him. The alien wants Trip to fix his stuff, like aliens always do. The alien offers Trip some brown water but Trip doesn't like it and spills the whole bottle on the ground. Way to go! Trip gets the gun back. Trip ties his alien up and gives him some food, but the alien doesn't like it. The moral of this episode: not everyone enjoys the same food and drink.

Trip tries to get the transceiver working but can't. He makes a big "let's work together" speech that the alien seems to understand. Trip unties him...and the alien instantly attacks him. The alien spits ALIEN JUICE in Trip's eyes and they end up fighting to a draw. Trip gets the gun but throws it away to show he wants an end to this. They send a message to the Enterprise as the sun has come up and the moon's getting hotter. The alien has nothing to drink because stupid Trip poured his brown water out. Hoshi finally calls as the alien is near death. Shuttles can't land on the planet, but Phlox reports the transporter will kill the alien if they try to beam him up. Well, beam Phlox down to help him then? Or beam down some water at least. Trip refuses to be beamed up and leave his friend. Seriously, why not just beam someone down to help them? Trip is near death too and he starts recounting his adventures like spending a night with a princess and getting pregnant once. What a life. Finally one of the alien shuttles comes down to save them. Archer thanks the alien Captain and agrees to leave their system. The alien finally gets to speak in English to Trip and says he's happy he didn't kill Trip.

Well, this one doesn't feel original. It's a mix of 'Darmok', that one where Geordi and the Romulan are trapped on a planet, and kind of 'Arena' where Kirk fights the Gorn. But not as good as any of them. For one thing the planet they were on looked like a TNG season 1 set. It was ugly. I did like the part where the alien just attacks Trip again when it looks like Trip has got through to him. The guy playing the alien does a decent job. And really it's not a bad episode. I don't have many complaints beyond "it was dull." Do I ever want to watch it again though? No, definitely not!

SCORE: 5/10
 
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Stigma - T'Pol is suffering brain problems after the events of her mind meld in 'Fusion' but doesn't want to ask any Vulcans for help at an upcoming medical conference, despite Phlox telling her she could die. One of Phlox's wives comes onboard at the conference and shows an instant interest in Trip. Phlxo meets some Vulcan doctors who are reluctant to discuss Pa'Nar Syndrome because it only effects a certain subculture of Vulcans, but he lies about it being for a non-Vulcan patient. Phlox's wife hits on Trip and makes him feel awkward. The Vulcans come onboard to talk to Phlox but pull T'Pol into their meeting too, obviously suspicious that she's the one suffering from Pa'Nar. They show T'Pol a list of "melders" and ask if she condones their wrong behaviour. They make it clear they won't help treat "those people." Turns out they also did a secret scan of T'Pol and knows she's suffering from the syndrome. The wife keeps sexually harrassing Trip right in front of Phlox. Archer lets T'Pol and Phlox know that the Vulcans have told him T'Pol has a disease and he wants to know what the Hell is going on. T'Pol explains to him about the mind melders and how a mind meld was forced on her against he choice. Didn't she actually want to mind meld initially? I'm sure she agreed to it but it was only when things got disturbing that she asked the rapey Vulcan to stop. And I thought Archer knew what happened too and that's why he tried to stupidly fight the Vulcan? Here it looks like he thought T'Pol was just "assaulted" but didn't know about the mind meld part. Anyway, Archer asks the Vulcans why they won't help people with Pa'Nar and they again say it's because only "undesirables" suffer from it.

T'Pol lets Archer know that the youngest Vulcan doctor secretly contacted her and she thinks he wants to help. She goes to a shadowy secret meeting with him where he gives her all the research they have on Pa'Nar. He's a Melder too. He encourages T'Pol to tell the doctors she was mind raped. Trip has Hoshi stay at this table so he won't be alone with Phlox's wife. She still strokes his leg with her foot. Reed tells Trip not to tell Phlox because Phlox'll get angry and smash his head in. The research helps Phlox come up with a new treatment for T'Pol. Archer reveals the doctors have decided to receall T'Pol's commission (again) and urges her to tell them about the mind rape. T'Pol says it shouldn't matter that she was raped, everybody should be treated the same. Archer angrily confronts the doctors in a scene that would be a lot better if he was Patrick Stewart. Archer insists there be a hearing before T'Pol is recalled. Trip tells Phlox everything and Phlox is just disappointed that Trip won't bang his wife. Trip is a bit too shocked here, like he already knows that Phlox has three wives and they each have three husbands so it can't be that unthinkable that the wife would sleep with a fourth guy. Archer tells T'Pol she should speak up on behalf of the "minority" she wants to protect. She agrees but still won't reveal the details of her mind rape. The hearing takes place and Archer make his big "diversity is great" speech. Yeah, what about IDIC, you fucking Vulcan bigots. The younger doctor is insipred to reveal that he's a melder too and the two older doctors are appalled. He reveals that T'Pol was forced to meld against her will. T'Pol won't confirm it but the doctors believe him. Phlox says goodbye to his wife and she hits on Trip again even though he's clearly not interested. What a creep. Archer tells T'Pol she's not being recalled and he's happy he won't lose her.

It's the big AIDS analogy episode. It's okay in a clumsy Star Trek way. Using the Vulcans as bigots still feels weird but it's clear by now that they aren't supposed to be the Vulcans we remember from TOS. That's fine but the way it's executed still isn't working for me. They just seem like dicks! Why would the humans listen to them for ninety years if they're like this? The lack of continuity with 'Fusion' kind of bothers me as I'm sure T'Pol volunteered for a mind meld there (and it later turned into assault.) I did like how she wasn't willing to say that she was forced, but wouldn't it have worked just as well if she revealed that she really did want to meld? The B-story is a bit annoying as Phlox's wife just comes across as a bit smug and almost a sex pest. Anyway, this is a bit better than most recent episodes? Just not as good as it could have been (it's Enterprise!)

SCORE: 6.5/10


Cease Fire - Shran's Andorian Imperial Guard are fighting Vulcans on some planet. He has a female second in command played by Suzie Plakson this time! Shran wants Archer to negotiate a peace with the Vulcans. T'Pol explains the history behind the planet they're figtting over: the Vulcans fought the Andorians were setting up a military base like they always do. Archer meets with the Vulcan Ambassador Soval who, as we know, is an asshole. Archer tells Phlox he thinks part of their mission is proving to the Vulcans that Earth is ready to be part of a larger community. Phlox warns him to be careful on the battlefield. Archer and T'Pol arrive for their meeting with Shran and are surrounded by armed Andorians. Plakson doesn't trust T'Pol. Shran says "Pinkskin" a lot, guaranteeing he'll never have a scene with Travis. Shran has Vulcan prisoners and will only give them up if the Vulcans give the planet back to the Andorians. Archer points out this will never happen so Shran asks him to get Shran a meeting with Soval. Shran gives up one hostage. Soval doesn't think it's a good deal and won't meet with Shran, but Archer uses the old "you're stubborn like an Andoria!" trick to get him to agree to meet Shran. Plakson isn't happy that Shran is going to talk to Soval and questions his faith in the pinkskins. The shuttle carrying Archer. T'Pol and Soval is shot down, like shuttles always are

Soval instantly thinks it was Shran who shot them down but Arche defends his blue friend. The Vulcans want to take control of the rescue and clash with Trip as usual. Plakson tells Shran the Vulcans probably shot down the shuttle themselves to set up Shran (he doesn't agree.) There's a cute exchange between Soval and T'Pol over human attitudes to their ears. Soval asks her why she stayed on Enterprise and she admits she finds it gratifying. Plakson is on the trace of Archer and co. Soval is shot by the Andorians. Archer tries to get them to stop but they keep shooting at him. Archer heroically climbs up a ladder and punches an Andorian. He captures Plakson who tells him Andorian guns don't have a stun setting. She's been trying to kill Soval against Shran's orders, thinking Shran has turned coward. She and Archer have a fight and it's nice seeing a fight with a tall woman (really, it's fun!) Trip tries to stop the Vulcan and Andoria ships from fighting each other Plakson lies to Shran but Soval and T'Pol tell him she's trying to provoke a war with Vulcan. Shran knows they're right and has Pkakson arrested. Back on the Enterprise a peace is negotiated that neither side is all that happy with but which will avoid war. Soval even agrees to drink Andorian ale with Shran.

They nearly got back to the 8/10 quality of 'Dead Stop' here, but, frustratingly, they don't quite make it. It's good to see Shran again as Combs rules and he gets a bit more to do here than his previous episodes. Suzie Plakson is always welcome too, even if he her character is pretty simple. Soval finally gets to show a bit of nuance and has nice moments with T'Pol. But did we really need another shuttle getting shot down? Another Trip in command story where he tries to stop aliens shooting each other? It feels like a remix of previous episodes in places. It's much better than that oe where Archer and T'Pol were tied up in a barn, yeah, but it just doesn't go far enough. It needed more of Shran and Soval together and less of the usual Enterprise stuff. Anyway, I'd still says it's good enough to call good.

SCORE: 7/10
 
Future Tense - A mysterious and small spaceship appears out of nowhere so the Enterprise takes it onboard. Archer finds a dead human pilot inside. Archer wonders if it's Zephran Cochrane in a fun continuity nod. The ship seemingly has no engine and no one understands how it got out in the middle of space. Trip and Reed open a hatch within the ship and find that it's bigger on the inside than the outside, like some kind of "Darlek" from "Dr. Who". A Suliban ship shows up and claims salvage rights over the mysterious vessel. They demand it be handed over but Archer tells them to ask Silik how he responds to threats. The Suliban attack and two get onboard and have a ceiling climbing phaser fight with Trip and Reed. The Suliban get run off. Phlox confirms the pilot wasn't Zephran Cocharane but does have Vulcan DNA. He's from the future, a time long after humans and Vulcans have started breeding. Archer and T'Pol consult the time database Daniels left behind and find the ship is from 900 years in the future. Then another alien ship shows up outside: a Tholian ship. T'Pol reports the Tholians are non-humanoid and xenophobic (aren't we all!) They want the future ship too and grab the Enterprise in a tractor beam. They fly off when Archer threatens to destroy the future ship.

T'Pol and Phlox talk about the future ship. T'Pol STILL doesn't believe in time travel despite all the actual time travel she's witnessed. This isn't very logical. Trip and Reed debate if it would be more fun to travel to the future or past. They upon up a panel on the time ship and suddenly they're having the same conversation about dinosaurs again. They're caught in a time loop, but luckily in television you start to realise you're in a time loop the longer you spend in it (I bet they wouldn't work like that in real life!) There's TIME RADIATION (or something) leaking from the time ship and T'Pol suggests they should destroy it. Archer wants to finally get some answers about the temporal cold war and won't consider destroying it. Good luck getting those answers, Archer. Loads of Suliban ships show up as the Enterprise races to get the time ship to some Vulcans who are supposed to pick it up. But they find the Vulcan ship disabled in space, a victim of the Tholians. The Suliban and Tholians end up fighting over who gets to steal the time ship from Enterprise. The Tholians seem to be winning the fight as Archer and Reed get trapped in another time loop while working on a torpedo. The Tholians dock with the Enterprise and start cutting through the doors like Darth Vader. The Enterprise ejectst the time shiip into space, but the Tholians neutralise the torpedo warhead Archer put on it. Then the ship (and the pilot in Sickbay) just disappear for no reason. Okay then. Well actually it's because Trip activated a beacon on the time ship earlier, I kind of forgot that. Archer wonders if the Vulcans will be willing to believe in crossbreeding with humans now but T'Pol says they'll be more likely to believe in time travel haha the bants.

Finally! A good episode! Something just as fun as 'Dead Stop'! Yeah it's has the problems that all temporal cold war episodes have: it tries to appear to be a part of a larger narrative, but that larger narrative doesn't really exist as Berman and Braga are just making it up as they go along. So there's no real answer to any of the mysteries here and we'll never find out what the deal was with the time ship. But that doesn't mean it can't be an entertaining episode in its own right! And it definitely is so that's nice.

SCORE: 8/10


Canamar - The Enterprise finds a shuttlepod that's supposed to contain Archer and Trip empty in space. There's a breif mention that they went to watch an ALIEN WATER POLO game holy shit. Archer and Trip are handcuffed up on some kind of alien prison ship. They're going to a prison named Canamar and the other prisoners explain that everyone's found guilty when processed. A Nausicaan prisoner tries to bully Trip for his gruel but the guards electric shock him (then do the same to Trip because they're EVIL GUARDS.) T'Pol meets up ith the alien administrator guy who is surprisingly helpful and agrees Archer and Trip were arrested by mistake. A guard gives Archer the news he's to be freed...just as the Nausicaan and another guy stage a hijacking and take control of the ship. The pilot is injured so Arche offers to fly the ship in an attempt to win his freedom. Archer pretends to be a badass smuggerl who paid his way out of prison and he's not as convincing as Picard or Riker from 'Gambit'. Trip is annoyed by the talkative guy sitting next to him.

A patrol ship attacks the prison ship and Archer gets Trip freed to help them escape it (using one of those "venting gas then shooting it" tricks.) Archer bonds with the bad guy by telling stories of his smuggling. The bad guy tells Archer that he was wrongfully convicted the first time and learned to be a criminal in prison. DEPTH. Then he reveals he's going to kill all the other prisoners once his friends show up to take him to safety. He's a jerk again! The Enterprise runs into the bad guy's friend's ship. Trip knocks out the Nausicaan with a big spanner but the other guy shoots him. This is all very boring by the way. Talkative guy still believes the evil murderers are going to free them because he's dumb. I look away for a minute and suddenly Reed's on the prison ship and Archer's in control agand and freeing all the prisoners. The bad guy wakes up and pointlessly attacks Archer as the ship is plunging towards destruction (Archer was about to save him.) Bad guy refuses to leave the ship as he doesn't want to go back to prison and he dies. Angry Archer tells off the administrator guy for the terrible job his prison system is doing in the best scene of the episode (it's about twenty seconds long.)

Rememer the movie Con Air? It was really silly but a lot of fun, with great performances from John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Star Trek's own Colm Meaney and Nicholas Cage's hair. This episode is like that but really really boring. Seriously, most of it is just Archer and Trip sitting around talking to people. There's two scenes that kind of try to be commentary on the prison system, but really they feel more like paying lip service to exploring a social issue rather than actually exploring it. The music is pretty exciting in places but doesn't really match what's happening on screen. So yeah it's pretty bad!

SCORE: 3.5/10
 
The Crossing - Great start with a massive ship chasing the Enterprise then just swallowing it up. Much better than the usual Enterprise teaser. Trapped inside, Archer, Reed and Trip go exploring in a shuttle and find the ship's atmosphere has changed to be breathable by humans (but they keep their EV suits on.) They spot gaseous lifeforms flying about and one flies into Trip, sending his own consciousness out of his body (how does that work, exactly?) for a few seconds. He feels like he was back in Florida for a minute. Back on the Enterprisse Trip's body is possessed again. The alien possessing him then...eats loads of food. I'm sure we've seen this exact same thing happen in TOS, TNG and Voyager (and probably DS9.) He explains that his species lives in subspace and haven't encountered corporeal beings in a long time. They just want to learn how their ancestors lived. Archer asks that they be let go, so the big ship spits Enterprise out, Trip flies back in (human consciousness can existed outside the body as a gas in Star Trek. It's very serious science fiction!) and everything appears to be back to normal. Trip encourages the others to give it a try and Archer thinks he must have something wrong with him. It's not long before another of the lifeforms shows up and takes control of Reed. He instantly tries to get laid by asking a girl crewman about her gender (she doesn't instantly think "he must be possessed by one of those aliens!" which suggests that Reed acts like this all the time.) He tries to fuck T'Pol next until Archer shows up to explain consent to him.

A redshirt (Rostov, who has actually appeared in previous episodes but never been given a personality) gets possessed next. Phlox reports he has a way to get the aliens out of human bodies. He and T'Pol have secret conversations using a PAD (or whatever.) Travis does something useful by discovering the aliens can't enter the catwalk (remember that? From 'The Catwalk'?) Everyone's got to get in the catwalk again! Hoshi gets possessed and tells Archer he'll be happy when he doesn't have a body. The alien in Hoshi breaks her leg and asks for Phlox's help. He comes with a phaser. It's a lie, of course, and she attacks Phlox (after some decent creepy acting from Linda Park) but he sedates her in time. An alien flies right into T'Pol's brain next and Phlox's cure doesn't work at first, despite T'Pol thinking she could fight the aliens with her logical brain. But T'Pol does manage to shake free and reports to Archer that the alien ship is actually breaking down and they're desperate for corporeal bodies That's a heck of a thing to introduce so late in the episode. More stuff happens and I think Trip is possessed again and Archer is tricking him but I'm hardly paying attention now. Trip punches Travis so yeah he's an alien. Archer directs Phlox on how to open hatches and stuff in boring, overly long scenes. Phlox (in his EV suit) headbutts Trip which okay is kind of funny. Phlox releases a gas that knocks the aliens out of everyone and their floaty consciousnesses come back. The big ship tries to eat Enterprise again but Archer just shoots torpedos into its mouth and blows it up, killing all the aliens. Yeah, fucking aliens!

This one starts off really promising with the huge ship eating the Enterprise. Then we get a shuttle flying around the ship and it's almost like a (much lower budget) version of The Motion Picture. Then the aliens possess people and just...eat food and try to get laid. Again. There's no attempt to make friendly first contact from Archer or attempt to come to an arrangement. The aliens are just evil badguys for the whole episode. Then it turns into a repeat of 'The Catwalk', then there's literally five minutes of Archer instructing Phlox on how to open doors and I've totally checked out. Hugely disappointing and ultimately boring and pointless.

SCORE: 3/10


Judgment - Remember the court from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? We start there for some reason, with the sparking judge ball and everything! Archer is on trial. Phlox is allowed to visit Archer on medical grounds (using a pretend condition.) Archer's advocate Kolos (J.G. Hertzler! That's Martok!) arrives and tells Archer not to speak during his trial. The trial begins and there's no hand held translators like in the movie so I guess they had better universal translators a hundred years earlier? Don't think about it! The prosecutor calls DURAS (oh boy) son of TORAL (oh boy) to the stand. He was recently demotedand he's about to explain why! We get a flashback from Duras' point of view where he claims there were wanted rebels being shielded Enterprise and Archer was supporting their rebellion. Flashback Archer says stuff like "death to the Empire!" and real Archer doesn't remember saying that! Archer did one of those "shoot some stuff that blows up" tricks to disable Duras' ship. The prosecutor makes a big speech calling for Archer's death. Kolos says nothing in Archer's defense so Archer demands to be allowed to speak. Kolos comes to Archer in his cell and tells him he's made a deal: give up the rebels and Archer will be shown mercy. Archer says they aren't rebels and won't reveal where their location. Kolos says he doesn't agree with the court's interpretation of the law and misses the old days of real justice but he's an old man and can't change anything now. Archer tries to convince him to put up a fight. Kolos makes a speech befor the court and Archer is allowed to testify. We see things from Archer's point of view now: the so called "rebels" were victims of the Klingons like those from the A-Team episode. They had fled their (Klingon controlled) planet because the Klingons had stopped feeding them.

We get to see Archer's defeat of Duras from Archer's point of view and frankly I don't know why they had to show it again because it all goes exactly as you'd expect. Kolos makes a speech about how Archer could have destroyed Duras' ship and brings up how he helped the Empire in 'Broken Bow' and saved a Klingon ship in 'Sleeping Dogs'. Archer thanks Kolos after as they wait for a verdict. Kolos reveals that the Warrior Class have taken over Klingon society and turned the justice system into a farce. He's sad that young Klingons all want to pick up weapons instead of law books. It's good to see a Klingon who isn't a warrior and get a bit of an explanation as to why all the Klingons we see are usually dicks! The judge reveals that he believes Kolos that Archer was just a fool who helped the rebels without knowing what he was doing. But he still did it so he's guilty! However Archer won't be sentenced to death and will instead be sent to Rura Penthe. Because it was in the movie. Kolos complains that sending Archer to Rura Penthe is the same as a death sentence. He rants at the judge for his lack of honour. So the judge sends Kolos to Rura Penthe as well. On the Enterprise, T'Pol says there might be a way to get Archer out of Rura Penthe. Archer and Kolo mine fordilithium n the ICE MINES. Archer gets shocked by painsticks defending the old man. They bond over how stupid humans are. Reed shows up in the mine disguised as a prisoner. T'Pol bribed a guard to get Archer out. Archer wants Kolos to come too but Kolo makes another speech about how he has to stay behind to fight for justice. Archer's worried he'll die but Kolos says he has something to live for now.

Is it a homage to Star Trek 6 or a rip off? It's probably both! At times it felt slightly grating to have all the name drops (I didn't even mention them all above) and references. But, fortunately, it's mostly a very good episode. It drags in the middle with the long and pointless flashback showing Archer defeating Duras when we already know basically how it happened. And maybe Kolor makes too many speeches near the end. The thing is though, J.G. Hertzler is the best Klingon. He was the best as Martok and he's great here too making Kolor seem like a different character from Martok while still being an actual nice Klingon. He pretty much redeems the whole Klingon race time and again. Discovery should bring him in and put him in proper make-up. This feels like a proper Star Trek episode. Yeah that means it's mostly just Archer and a bunch of Klingons rather than a typical Enterprise episode. I'm fine with that after some of the recent episodes! This is might be a rip off but I'll take it.

SCORE: 8/10
 
Horizon - Travis is reading a book in Enterprise's "Sweet Spot". He gets a call that Admiral Forest has ordered the ship to change course. That's the whole teaser. They thought that would be enough to keep viewers watching. A course correction. They're going to a planet with volcanoes. Travis asks Archer if he can visit the Horizon, the cargo ship he grew up on, as his dad is sick. Trip tries to get T'Pol to come to movie night and watch Frankenstein. Travis suggests to Reed that Starfleet should let families live on ships but Reed is glad to be away from his family (they're English lol.) Archer visits Travis in the Sweet Spot after they get the news that the sick dad is now the dead dad. Look, I have to mention it: Anthony Montgomery is not a good actor. Sometimes hee's barely convincing at speaking. He just sounds unnatural. Travis isn't sure if his dad was proud of him but Archer tells him that his dad wrote a letter recommending him to the Enterprise. T'Pol tries to get a medical note from Phlox so she won't have to attend the movie. Travis meets with his mother and an old friend on the Horizon. His mother has him stay in his childhood bedroom. Travis also meets with his brother Paul, the acting Captain, who doesn't want his help with anything. T'Pol suggests a dramatic reading of the original Frankenstein noval rather than the movie. Travis does some upgrades to the Horizon's systems and Paul gets angry.

A cute female friend of Travis' visits him and tells him that morale is low on the ship since his father died and some of the crew don't trust Paul to be Captain yet. The Horizon is attacked by unkown aliens. They get away but the aliens attach a tracking device to the Horzion. it'll blow up if they try to remove it. Paul wants to dump some of their cargo and run to a space station. Travis wants to fight back with a makeshift phase cannon. The mother agrees that it's safest not to fight back. T'Pol attends movie night and tells Phlox off for talking during the film. Travis goes ahead with his modifications anyway and an angry Paul tells him to stop. He says Travis turned his back on the ship by joining Starfleet. He says he didn't even care that their dad was sick and Starfleet's killing the cargo business. The Mayweather mother tells Travis that their father wasn't ready to be Captain at first either and he grew into the role like Paul will. T'Pol compares Frankenstein's Monster's treatment to how the first Vulcans to visit Earth were treated by humans. T'Pol detects life on the volcano planet as the volcanoes go off. The bad aliens show up and demand Horizon is handed over to them. Horizon kicks the aliens in their asses using their makeshift cannon. It turned out to be pretty easy. Paul says a friendly goodbye to Travis, who returns to the Enterprise and lies to Archer about the fight Horizon got in (for some reason?)

All season Travis has had literally nothing to do, to the point where his character could be played by an extra and it wouldn't make any difference. The girl with the robot eye on Discovery gets more lines than him. I do think it must be because the showrunners noticed his acting isn't all that great (though I do wonder why Reed and Hoshi have had such reduced screentime lately too?) So doing a whole episode around him...it feels weird! I feel mean criticising his acting all the time, but it is a tv show and acting is pretty important! When you can't engage with the character due to the performance it naturally hurts the show. It doesn't help that the story feels like a rerun of 'Fortunate Son' only not as interesting. It's not bad though. It's fine, really. It's an okay story. Would I ever watch it again? No! The b-story has the more memorable scenes but is as slight as they come and there's no follow up to the moment when they detect life on the volcano planet. And what was with the cute ex girlfriend (or whatever) only being in one scene?

SCORE: 5/10


The Breach - Phlox feeds a Tribble to a lizard in front of a shocked Hoshi. The Enterprise has to rescue some trapped Denobulan scientists from some caves because an evil alien government wants all aliens off their world. So Travis gets to do something (again!) as he can rock climb. The Enterprise responds to a distress call from another ship and takes a patient (Hudak) onboard. Phlox looks upset to see him. Ther'es a boring scene of Trip, Reed and Travis climbing. Hudak says he'd rather die than be treated by Phlox. Phlox explains that the Denobulans were at war with Hudak's species three hundred years ago and there's still bad blood between them. He says he won't treat Hudak without his consent and won't even do so when Archer orders it. More boring climbing. Archer tries to convince Hudak to let Phlox treat him. Hudak says the Denobulans killed twenty million of his people and they've had no contact since. Archer talks to Phlox and wonders if the Denobulans put their warcrimes aside too easily. Phlox says Hudak's people are taught to hate Denobulans from childhood and it'll be hard to change that in a few hours. The climbing finally has something happen: Trip and Reed fall down a whole and Travis has to hold them up with a broken leg. They all survive.

Phlox and Hudak finally talk. Phlox is pretty stiff while Hudak just tries to bait him by bringing up all the evil Denobulans did. Phlox snaps and says Hudak's people are the reason the hate has been kept alive and storms out. Phlox tells T'Pol a story about his racist grandmother who told him not to visit a planet because it had been "tainted" by the Antarans (Hudak's people, yes I learned the name at last.) The away team finally find the Denobulans, who refuse to leave. They're really dismissive of the fact that their lives are in danger and think the rocks they've found are important enough to risk it. Trip is angry because he's been falling down cliffs and stuff. They agree to leave. Phlox tells Hudak about his racist grandmother and how he tried to teach his own children the truth about the Antarans, But one of his sons turned out to be a racist anyway and Phlox has lost contact with him. The Denobulans try to take too many rocks so Trip threatens to shoot them up the ass. Rocks start to fall on them and it turns out the Denobulans have super climbing ability. Archer threatens to shoot at the racist government if they won't stop shooting at others and causing cave-ins. Hudak lets Phlox treat him and says he wishes more Denobulans were like him. Phlox says many are. The away team get to their shuttle just in time. Archer lets Hudak know that he'll be travelling on the same ship home as the three rescued Denobulans and Hudak is okay with it. Racism solved! Phlox writes a letter to his son.

It's a decent Trek episode about racial hate. A pretty simplisitic one, but John Billingsley gives a typically strong performance so it all works out well enough. Predicitable, sure, but it's nice that Star Trek thinks we can move past hate and all that. The B-story had so much fucking climbing that it bored me to tears until Trip started threatening to shoot the Denobulans up the ass and stuff. I still think there was too much climbing. It's a fairly good episode. Voyager did it better with Neelix and the bomb guy.

SCORE: 7/10
 
Congenitor - Enterprise meets some aliens who are able to fly inside a weird space thing. Their Captain Drennik (Andreas "Tomalok" Katsulas) is very friendly(!) and offers to take Archer in to look at the thing. Archer has dinner with Drennik while Trip introduces the ladies to ice cream. Trip lets Reed have the girls and goes to talk to the Chief Engineer and his wife. He's confused by a shy girl sitting with the couple, a "cogenitor." Phlox explains the cogenitor is a third sex who helps with conception. He suggests Trip keep an open mind. Archer and Drennik go flying into a star in Drennik's cool star pod (or whatever.) The husband explains how the cogenitor system works to Trip. The way he calls the cogenitor "it" makes the viewer and Trip think the cogenitor is treated as property. Archer loves his new bro Drennik and packs for a several days long Trip into the star with him, leaving T'Pol in charge. Trip takes to calling the cogenitor "her" and tries to explain to T'Pol why the whole situation makes him uncomfortable. He suggests the cogenitor should have "human rights" but T'Pol points out it/she isn't human. Trip tells Phlox he wants to take neural scans to see if the cogenitor has the same mental capacity as the male and female. Reed tries to seduce the alien tactical officer using cheese. What is she, Porthos? Trip gets himself invited to dinner with the engineer and his wife. He of course starts asking about the cogenitor again and takes secret scans. Phox reports that it is of equal intelligence to the male and female. Drennik lets Archer take control of his cool pod. Trip sneaks off to see the cogenitor and brings it a tool to teach it how to read. He starts filling her with human notions of equality, that she should have the same rights as anyone else. He explains that its gender is the only thing holding it back and it starts to enjoy learning to read.

Reed shows his lady friend his guns. She asks if he wants to sleep together and he bangs his head. In her society, they have sex before they'll eat together. The cogenitor masters reading in a day. Trip tells her she can study anything she wants. It says it wants to be named Charles like him. Archer and Drennik have a fun adventure in their weird space thing. The cogenitor becomes really excited to be roaming the Enterprise with Trip. He shows it the transporter and warp engine. He shows her 'The Day The Earth Stood Still' (by TMP director Robert Wise, SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR CONTINUITY?) and she likes it. He gets caught out by T'Pol and he tells him he's undermining the Captain's wishes and ruining the first contact. The congenitor runs away from home and ask to stay with Trip. Archer returns to the ship and is angry with Trip. He sends T'Pol out so he can tell Trip how disappointed he is in him. He tells Trip they're here to meet new species, not try to change their culture. Archer speaks to the cogenitor who says Trip told it it has rights. Drennik (a very reasonable guy) mediates between Archer and the cogenitors husband and wife. Archer can see Trip's point of view but the aliens say he doesn't understand their culture and the cogenitor doesn't know what it's asking. Archer sends the cogenitor home and says goodbye to his bro Drennik. He gets a call from him later and tells Trip that the cogenitor has commited suicide. Trip thinks he's responsible and Archer says "damn right!" Archer hopes this will teach Trip a lesson but isn't sure it will. Bakula gives one of his better performances here.

The most amazing thing about this episode is that it was written by Rick Berman (surely the best script with his name on it) and Brannon Braga. If they were capable of episodes like this all along, why has so much of season two been mediocre? The episode does a lot of smart things, like making the aliens actually friendly and reasonable for once. Archer finally gets to make a successful first contact (well, until the end) and is at his most likable on his adventure with Drennik. And even though Trip gets warnings all along from T'Pol and Phlox that he's making a mistake, we can still understand why he does everything he does. Maybe he's even right! You're left to make your own mind up on if the cogenitors are mistreated by their society (I think they possibly are?), but the important thing is that Trip is wrong to try to interfere in the way he does. It's a challenging, intelligent episode and again I wonder why they waited so long to make it.

SCORE: 10/10


Regeneration - In the Arctic Circle on Earth, researchers find a body frozen under the ice. The body...of a Borg. They dig up several bodies and are fascinated by the cybernetic implants.They soon discover the nanoprobes. They make plans to dig up the Borg ship too (it appears to be part of a perfect sphere!) There's lots of stuff with the drones lying there while the researchers go about their busines and you're just waiting for them to wake up and assimilate the fools. It's not long before it happens (the first assimilation is off camera but the viewer knows what's going on.) Their research ship goes missing and Enterprise is ordered to find it (why is Enterprise so close to Earth?) Reed is provided with photos of the Borg that the researches took and asks Phlox why they're such cyborg weirdos. Phlox tells him to keep an open mind and brings up the Bynars. Enterprise picks up a distress call from an alien ship that's being attacked by the assimilated research ship. Enterprise chases off the Borg and brings two semi-assimilated aliens over to treat them. This isn't a good idea, have they never watched Voyager? Phlox tries to come up with a way to fight the nanoprobes. Archer tells T'Pol of a speech Zephran Cochrane once made about what REALLY happened during First Contact: time travelling alien cyborgs. Phlox's patients inject him with nanoprobes and escape Sickbay. Phlox wakes up hearing Borg voices in his head. Enterprise chases the assimilated research ship as Reed hunts the two aliens.

Reed and his team can't hurt the aliens with their phase pistols. The aliens/drones are trying to take out Enterprise's warp engines so Archer has no choice but to flush them out into space. Hoshi visits Phlox and feeds his animals for him. He's blaming himself for not take the Borg threat seriously enough. Archer still wants to try to save the assimilated humans when T'Pol suggests they should destroy the arctic research ship. The nanoprobes are still slowly assimilating Phlox (I guess Denobulans have super immune systems, conveniently) and he plans to kill them with radiation. He wants Archer to kill him if it doesn't work. Emterprise catches up with the research ship and it activates the stuff the dead drones left on the Enterprise. They do the "you will be assimilate, resistence is futile" think but Enterprise misses the "we are the Borg" part to maintain continuity a bit. Phlox goes into the radiation chamber and suffers great pain. Archer and Reed beam over to the Borgified research ship (they've changed all the light bulbs to green!) Reed's phase pistols are modified to kill Borg now but of course you don't get many shots before they adapt. They have to beat up a drone by hand. More drones beam over to the Enterprise. Archer and Reed blow up the research ship and get off just in time. The drones beam over to the other alien ship to turn that into their new home but Enterprise blows it up too. Phlox is on the road to recovery and tells Archer he was part of a hive mind for a moment and got the sense they were sending some kind of transmission...to the Delta Quadrant...and it'll take two hundred years to get there DUN DUN DUN.

There are a number of potential nerd complains about this episode. First there's the whole idea that Picard didn't tidy up after himself at the end of 'First Contact' before the Enterprise returned home. I agree that having a huge chunk of Borg sphere on Earth for so long is pretty silly and that Picard certainly would have made sure to get rid of it before going home, but it's not really an episode ruiner. Then there's Phlox being assimilated and recovering, two hundred years before TNG where it seemed much harder to do that. I have my sympathy with this complaint, but Voyager already made it look super easy to get over being assimilated. At least Phlox had to expose himself to radiation! And you can handwave it away with the Denobulan immune system. Next there's just the idea of doing a Borg episode at all in Enterprise. We all hated the Ferengi episode (well, I did anyway!) and those crappy Klingon episodes (other than 'Judgment') so surely it's just as deseprate to use the Borg to try to win back viewers? Yeah, I'm sure they did use the Borg as a ratings ploy, but who can blame them? Ratings fell off a cliff in seaosn two. And if the Ferengi and Klingon episodes had actually been as good as this one is we probably woudln't have had such a problem with them. This one, luckily, is a great episode, the best action episode of Enterprise so far. The way it approches the Borg makes it feel fresh compared to all those later Voyager borg episodes that just felt routine. Starting from the point of view of humans on Earth was a clever move, for example! The music is excellent too (I checked and this and 'Canamar' were the only two episodes scored by Brian Tyler, who has gone on to do several major Hollywood movies so good for him!) It actually makes the Borg scary and fun for a while! The final potential complain is the ending where they try to tie it back to TNG and say "SEE THIS IS WHY THE BORG CAME TO EARTH" and I have to agree that this is a bit too stupid. I often find these type of prequel continuity nods too cutesy and unnecessary. Plus it actually makes Picard responsible for the Borg coming to Earth in the first place (see nerd complaint one) which is dumb! Anyway, this is a very fun episode I enjoy it maybe Enterprise has finally gotten good.

SCORE: 9/10
 
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