What is the appropriate tip for a concierge?

[jack]

You've preserved her well, taking her out to fancy hotels is nice.

 

[Alex Buchet]

You're a happily married man?

 

[jack]

You didn't say if it was a zit, or a wart.

 

[Alex Buchet]

Are you saying that you wish me, a man, to fellate you?

 

[jack]

Shouldn't you be asking Eggs this question?

 

[jack]

It was 50 degrees today. Most of the snow is melting.

 

[jack]

There's a lot of it though

 

[Alex Buchet]

How's Mrs. Venooker? The kids?

 

[jack]

It was nice. Everywhere I raked on the roof, all the ice melted.

 

[Alex Buchet]

*tips jack a quarter for cleaning the roof of my condo*

 

[jack]

pwnd

 

[Alex Buchet]

Yes, you do pwn that quarter now! Good for you!

 

[Alex Buchet]

*orders a lox platter from room service*

 

[Tyrant]

any thoughts? Let's say he performs a lot of services for you -- getting you lift tickets, having your skis waxed, coordinating special room service requests, etc. Any thoughts?

Shut the fuck up, you dumb, unfunny jack-dancer.

 

[Alex Buchet]

no

 

[Tyrant]

Ok, dumb, unfunny jack-dancer. Do not shut the fuck up.

 

[Alex Buchet]

*tips jack a dollar*

 

[Kim Nyholm]

Shut the fuck up, you dumb, unfunny jack-dancer.

Pedophile.

 

[Alex Buchet]

*ding!*

 

[jack]

You dance divinely!