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What is....

I'll take two cards.

The game is "Ozark Checkers", right?

Uncomfortable situation...mmm....

Well, there was this time back in 1994 when I was driving my CJ5 in the back-country. I ran over a piglett. Out of this shack comes a pouring of people who may or may not be of the same species, I'm sure the in-breeding had given them a new evolutionary line. They are ALL upset about the pig, I figured I'd either run over their Easter meal, or a close relitive, not sure because the drawl was even thicker than usual (and it's thick here in Mobile). None of them appeared to be armed, so I figured if I made it back to the jeep, everything would be ok. Wrong...the ONE good looking product of the entire genetic engineering project I had run into was sitting in my jeep, in a t-shirt and very tight shorts. If I took off with her, I'd be kinappeing, as well as the procine-cide I had to handle.
So, with quick thinking, I jumped into the jeep, exposed myself, and as the girl was gasping at the sheer size and beauty of my reproductive anatomy, she fainted dead away and fell out of the jeep. I drove off without looking back.
But somehow, she had my phone number and kept calling my house, asking for the "Pig killer with a Big Dick!". My mother was not ammused.

Now deal the cards, I'm hungery, double bamboo shoots on that pizza, hold the chocolate.
 
THE MOST INCOMFORTABLE SOCIAL SITUATION I HAVE BEEN WAS WHEN I WAS ATTACKED BY HATE MONGERS AND ANTI-JEW BASH HATERS.

I WAS FEELING BY MYSELF, BUT THEN WAS NOT FEELING SO ALONE BEUCASE I HAD A HACKED IN MY PERSONAL COMPUTER BOX.

OTHER THAN THAT I AM NOT RECALLING SO WELL MUCH.
 
Oh, hell, deal me in.

My hick husband came home one day and said, "I'm starting a landscape maintenance business." I thought he was crazy - mowing people's lawns for a few dollars - we'd be broke and on welfare in no time. But, it turned out to be a good idea and after a year of hard work by both of us - running the business and still holding down full time jobs - we were doing very, very well. We built roads, put in sprinkler systems, as well as had quite a nice number of year round contracts on commercial properties that paid even when we didn't have any work to do. So we treated ourselves by going to the swankiest place we knew of for dinner. We got dressed up, spiffied ourselves up real nice, and went to the Pyramid Room at the top of the Adolfus Hotel in Dallas - $40 for a slice of cake with a layer of gold on top of the icing for desert. We did our best to blend in with the older more successful white collar executive types patronizing the place. You know - napkin in lap instead of tucked into our collars, start with the right fork, dab our mouths after eating before drinking, not being too loud. Then my husband made me giggle and I swear, I snorted and a booger bubbled out of my nose. It was just a brief instant but I could have died on the spot. I just knew everybody in that place was looking at us and they had to have seen it. But, they all went about their dining and conversations without making a fuss and asking that we heathens be removed from their delicate presence.
 
Ew eloisel! :D that is gross!
But funny.
It reminded me of a dinner my husband and I had-
We were waiting for our food and having a friendly debate about the "war" this was almost 2 years ago-and we were disagreeing-but it was between us-and that is fine.
But the drunk couples next to us decide to put in thier 2 cents and tell us what they thought-and that if we didn't like it we could leave the country-and that their fathers died for us to have freedom. (um, yeah dude, freedom for me to express myself and have a private conversation w/ my husband!)
The uncomfortable part was that they were staying in the same place as us-and we were going to an island-and had to ride the ferry w/ them in the morning.
 
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