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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

The camera on my phone was derived from the technology used in the film cameras Patterson and Gimlin used to shoot their famous footage of Bigfoot. On it I have pictures of a peacock in the neighbors' yard, my dog (in my yard) stalking a groundhog (on the other side of the fence in the other neighbor's yard), and a beaver swimming in the creek (among other things), yet you would not know this, looking at the photos. Knowing specifically what was in the photo and where to look for it, I can just about make out the blurry form that could be what I was trying to photograph. The rest of the photo is largely clear, just the thing I'm looking at is hard to see: "Why'd you take a photo of a muddy, littered caged area?" "There was a peacock walking by." "Where?" It's like CSI: Star Trek. "Computer, focus on center frame, low. Enhance. Augment."

There should also be a photo of the feral white cat, chilling on the neighbor's back steps like he's domesticated but even I wasn't able to find that photo so I wonder if the shutter button was acting flaky. And yes, I hate this phone. But I hate it less than any phone currently available in the US. So I make do. I might buy a new battery for its predecessor and try to get it back online. I would, but my last troubleshooting step before I realized the battery was shot was to do a hard reset and the factory default is crap. Oh, and it uses a standard sized SIM card and my new phone used the mini SIM. I've tried positioning it in the larger slot previously and haven't been able to get it to work.
 
If I was ever cast as a vampire in a production, I think I'd give up meat for a month. I could look at one of the other actors and imagine a really nice salami and there would be no acting needed on my part--beyond managing to remember my lines and not actually eat the other actor.
 
Sure, call Biff Tannen the "bad guy." I just know that in the reality where he used the future sports almanac to get rich and powerful we had flyin' cars.
 
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