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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

Fun story from yesterday:

The melt has finally come this year, so yesterday I hiked my ass over to Casey's "General Store" (It's a chain of convenience stores in the mid. [Not the 'midwest' -- there's no "west" to the "midwest", it's just fuckin' mid.]) I grab a fifth of Tito's, some juice for mixer, a deck of Luckies, and some hot garbage C-store "food" to chow on, and head for home.

Here's a fun fact: We're in the part of the year now when it's well over 40 Fahrenheit during the day, but will below freezing at night. Another fun fact: One of the shortcuts I take when traveling from Casey's toward home is a short, steeply sloped patch of pavement going down from one parking lot to the parking lot immediately adjacent to it. Bet you can see where this is heading. I didn't.

That steeply sloped, maybe 3 foot long patch of pavement had been in the shade all day. As my foot hit the black ice, I had about a millionth of a second to think, "Well, this fuckin' figures." before (what I imagine looked like) I was horizontal in midair like a fucking cartoon character, and then WHAM. Came down so hard it knocked my fuckin' lid off. I just laid there for a minute, eyes closed... and then, through closed eyes and gritted teeth, verily I spake thus to the heavens... "Thou hit'st like a bitch."

Oh, and no damage to the cargo, fortunately. Busted sundries, more than the black ice -inflicted body slam, would have pissed me off.
 
Why is there not an invention that allows me to exercise at night while I sleep? I think I could totally sleep with my legs moving back and forth and my arms spinning around every once in a while. No gut exercises tho, that would not be pleasant.
 
Mirah said:
Why is there not an invention that allows me to exercise at night while I sleep? I think I could totally sleep with my legs moving back and forth and my arms spinning around every once in a while. No gut exercises tho, that would not be pleasant.
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I recall once reading about electrostim pads a person could strap to themselves that would cause the wearer's muscles to periodically contract in order to approximate "exercise" while stationary in a seated or reclining position. Not sure how safe or effective that would be, but I am fairly sure a person wouldn't be able to sleep with such a thing going on.
 
The Question said:
I recall once reading about electrostim pads a person could strap to themselves that would cause the wearer's muscles to periodically contract in order to approximate "exercise" while stationary in a seated or reclining position. Not sure how safe or effective that would be, but I am fairly sure a person wouldn't be able to sleep with such a thing going on.
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I think I had to use something like that once, tho now I don't remember why. It must have been after a back injury-I know I used it in the chiropractor office, but I feel like I took a machine home too. WHAT AN ODD MEMORY
 
The Question said:
Fun story from yesterday:

The melt has finally come this year, so yesterday I hiked my ass over to Casey's "General Store" (It's a chain of convenience stores in the mid. [Not the 'midwest' -- there's no "west" to the "midwest", it's just fuckin' mid.]) I grab a fifth of Tito's, some juice for mixer, a deck of Luckies, and some hot garbage C-store "food" to chow on, and head for home.

Here's a fun fact: We're in the part of the year now when it's well over 40 Fahrenheit during the day, but will below freezing at night. Another fun fact: One of the shortcuts I take when traveling from Casey's toward home is a short, steeply sloped patch of pavement going down from one parking lot to the parking lot immediately adjacent to it. Bet you can see where this is heading. I didn't.

That steeply sloped, maybe 3 foot long patch of pavement had been in the shade all day. As my foot hit the black ice, I had about a millionth of a second to think, "Well, this fuckin' figures." before (what I imagine looked like) I was horizontal in midair like a fucking cartoon character, and then WHAM. Came down so hard it knocked my fuckin' lid off. I just laid there for a minute, eyes closed... and then, through closed eyes and gritted teeth, verily I spake thus to the heavens... "Thou hit'st like a bitch."

Oh, and no damage to the cargo, fortunately. Busted sundries, more than the black ice -inflicted body slam, would have pissed me off.
Click to expand...
Sounds like something I would do. I was surprised the first time my watch said “looks live you’ve taken a fall, call 911”?
I’ve been able to press “dismiss” three times so far. Interesting feature. I imagine if i’m cognizant enough to answer my watch then I don’t need 911. If it’s a truly smart watch, the time I don’t respond, it will call.
 
Got a bit of bread stuck in my throat at dinner, tried to wash it down with some coke, but that got stuck too, ended up leaning forward and making a sound like Al Pacino in scent of a woman, which dislodged it enough to go down.

Hooaar FTW.
 
whisky said:
Got a bit of bread stuck in my throat at dinner, tried to wash it down with some coke, but that got stuck too, ended up leaning forward and making a sound like Al Pacino in scent of a woman, which dislodged it enough to go down.

Hooaar FTW.
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Geezus, getting old sucks. I need to figure out how to go to a doctor in my insurance plan because this happens to me increasingly. I can breathe and everything, but if I'm not paying attention to chewing thoroughly and washing it down with a tasty beverage I either wind up drinking liquid and/or hopping up and down or going and horking it up in the bathroom.
 
My garbage can has gone AWOL. Not the huge fucker I keep out on my front porch, but the kitchen one. Thursday nights, I empty all the indoor cans into the outdoor one, then carry that one out to the curb for Friday morning trash pickup.

Could have fucking sworn I brought the kitchen can back in after emptying it. Well, either somebody walked into my place and took... an empty garbage can... or (more likely) I forgot to bring it back inside, and the wind grabbed it off my porch and took it on a fucking adventure.
 
tFlON7S.jpg
 
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