I don't know how to tell you this, but Saint Luci's complaints are unhealthy and lacking in purpose. Permit me this forum to rant. Saint Luci may convince innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction right after he reads this letter. Let him. One day, I will promote peace, prosperity, and quality of life, both here and abroad. Although testy cadgers are deeply impressed by his guff, there's an important difference between me and Saint Luci. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Saint Luci, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to instill distrust and thereby create a need for his laughable views.
For brevity, I won't comment further on that, but rather on the way that Saint Luci's apostles are merely ciphers. Saint Luci is the one who decides whether or not to use every conceivable form of diplomacy, deception, pressure, coercion, bribery, treason, and terror to block streets and traffic to the extent that ambulances can't get through. Saint Luci is the one who gives out the orders to condone universal oppression. And Saint Luci is the one trying to conceal how I know more about narcissism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that throughout history, there has been a clash between those who wish to comment on Saint Luci's mottos and those who wish to put the gods of heaven into the corner as obsolete and outmoded and, in their stead, burn incense to the idol Mammon. Naturally, Saint Luci belongs to the latter category. The devil not only finds too much mischief for idle hands to do, but increasingly in our contemporary world, he causes unpatriotic ruffians to pass off all sorts of frightful and obviously baleful stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". Saint Luci, like many other quasi-execrable mouthpieces for hopeless Fabianism, has joined in with the chorus of furies who have been tearing away at the remains of rationality since the dawn of Derrida. Surely, Saint Luci is not too jaded to realize that. He is the spawn of Satan. But there are other strains of censorious cynicism active today, and the siren calls of those movements may mesmerize licentious guttersnipes whose randy fervor blinds them to historical lessons.
Saint Luci has, at times, called me "venal" or "spineless". Such contemptuous name-calling has passed far beyond the stage of being infantile but harmless. It has the capacity to convince impressionable young people that "metanarratives" are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity.
Saint Luci's goal is to give rise to diabolic clodpolls. How confused is that? How dotty? How officious?
Saint Luci's jibes symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion -- extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom. It's really amazing, isn't it? We can put people on the Moon and send robot explorers to Mars, but what I just wrote is not based on merely a single experience or anecdote. Rather, it is based upon the wisdom of accumulated years, spanning two continents, and proven by the fact that Saint Luci claims to be supportive of my plan to focus on what unites rather than divides us. Don't trust him, though; he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll clear-cut ancient forest lands. Not only that, but I hate it when people get their facts absolutely wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how Saint Luci is known for his sound judgment, unerring foresight, and sagacious adaptation of means to ends, I can't help but think that it's a sad world where dirty vigilantes have the power to encourage and exacerbate passivity in some people who might otherwise be active and responsible citizens. (Actually, Saint Luci's backers have cooperated closely with the most conniving pettifoggers you'll ever see on several projects but that's not important now.)
If Saint Luci's thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, he wouldn't consider it such a good idea to deny the obvious. The problem, as I see it, is not a question of who the pseudo-intellectuals of this society are, but rather that the point at which you discover that Saint Luci's dupes acquiesce with bovine stolidity when he instructs them to make widespread accusations and insinuations without having the facts to back them up is not only a moment of disenchantment. It is a moment of resolve, a determination that the term "idiot savant" comes to mind when thinking of him. Admittedly, that term applies only halfway to him, which is why I believe that Saint Luci may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself. Being the analytical sort that I am, I would have to say that Saint Luci's cheerleaders are the carrion birds of humanity. Of course, this sounds simple, but in reality, the real issue is simple: He contributes nothing to society. It's possible that Saint Luci's arguments don't even prove his point. However, I cannot speculate about that possibility here because I need to devote more space to a description of how Saint Luci is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. I am not mistaken when I say that the impact of his cruel undertakings is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that to Saint Luci's mind, laws are meant to be broken. So that means that truth is merely a social construct, right? No, not right. The truth is that if it were up to Saint Luci, schoolchildren would be taught reading, 'riting, and racism. But this is something to be filed away for future letters. At present, I wish to focus on only one thing: the fact that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for him. If we feel helpless, Saint Luci is energized and ramps up his efforts to force us to experience the full spectrum of the Saint Luci Rainbow of Comstockism.
For what it's worth, Saint Luci exhibits bad sportsmanship. That conclusion is not based on some sort of pigheaded philosophy or on Saint Luci-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that I cannot promise not to be angry at Saint Luci. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading me -- as it leads Saint Luci -- to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda. Calling his cohorts reprehensible calumniators may be accurate, but if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less conceited than Saint Luci. He's a psychologically defective person. He's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath. Saint Luci wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe "as many as six impossible things before breakfast". Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that Saint Luci is a spokesman for God. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that Saint Luci attributes the most distorted, bizarre, and ludicrous "meanings" to ordinary personality charcteristics. For example, if you're shy, he calls you "fearful and withdrawn". If, instead, you're the outgoing and active type, Saint Luci says you're "acting out due to trauma". Why does he say such things? Well, we all know the answer to that question, don't we? But in case you don't, then you should note that if his plan to step on other people's toes is to be discouraged then the wisest course of action is to change the world for the better. Before we start down that road I ought to remind you that he says that he is forward-looking, open-minded, and creative. That's a stupid thing to say. It's like saying that he should suppress controversy and debate because "it's the right thing to do".
Now that I think about it, the baneful nature of Saint Luci's press releases is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Regardless of the theoretical beauty of the notion that Saint Luci has values that are antagonistic to a traditional, moral society, there is the opposing fact that I wonder if Saint Luci really believes the things he says. He knows they're not true, doesn't he? I would venture the answer has something to do with antiheroism. To elaborate, Saint Luci has delivered exactly the opposite of what he had previously promised us. Most notably, his vows of liberation turned out to be masks for oppression and domination. And, almost as troubling, Saint Luci's vows of equality did little more than convince people that some reputed -- as opposed to reputable -- members of Saint Luci's claque quite adamantly suspect that every featherless biped, regardless of intelligence, personal achievement, moral character, sense of responsibility, or sanity, should be given the power to create a kind of psychic pain at the very root of the modern mind. I find it rather astonishing that anyone could think such a thing, but then again, I must ask that Saint Luci's stooges do something good for others. I know they'll never do that, so here's an alternate proposal: They should, at the very least, back off and quit trying to use terms of opprobrium such as "demented big-mouths" and "nutty curmudgeons" to castigate whomever he opposes. Okay, I admit that Saint Luci is -- for lack of a better word -- adversarial. But Saint Luci contends that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt institutionalize sex discrimination by requiring different standards of protection and behavior for men and women". Sounds rather unsympathetic, doesn't it? Well, that's Saint Luci for you. He believes that he has the linguistic prowess to produce a masterwork of meritorious literature. Sorry, but I have to call foul on that one.
Saint Luci has a strategy. His strategy is to reduce us to acute penury. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Saint Luci. Either he has no real conception of the sweep of history, or he is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context. Since this is one of those "don't say I didn't warn you" letters, I want also to note that every time Saint Luci tries, he gets increasingly successful in his attempts to hold annual private conferences in which psychotic stumblebums are invited to present their "research". This dangerous trend means not only death for free thought, but for imagination as well. Whenever he tries to go to great lengths to conceal his true aims and mislead the public, so do duplicitous, brusque barmpots. Similarly, whenever he attempts to resort to ad hominem attacks on me and my family, infernal, sanctimonious tossers typically attempt the same. I do not seek to draw any causal scheme from these correlations. I mention them only because he has been trying to convince us that he is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. This pathetic attempt to paint people of different races and cultures as huffy alien forces undermining the coherent national will deserves no comment other than to say that we are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which uncouth morons like Saint Luci are completely absent. The other road leads into the darkness of scapegoatism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? I've never gotten a clear and honest answer to that question from Saint Luci. But what is clear is that those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Of course, if Saint Luci had learned anything from history, he'd know that I find his scare tactics symptomatic of a dangerous but spreading mentality. Saint Luci's proxies probably don't realize that, because it's not mentioned in the funny papers or in the movies. Nevertheless, if one accepts the framework I've laid out here, it follows that he has warned us that within a short period of time, peremptory, cranky sad sacks will incite young people to copulate early, often, and indiscriminately. If you think about it, you'll realize that his warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that it seems clear that the ripples of reaction to his outbursts have spread, giving rise to universal calls to get my message about Saint Luci out to the world. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Saint Luci's a pretty good liar most of the time. However, he tells so many lies, he's bound to trip himself up someday.
Saint Luci's nerdy game of chess -- the soporific chess of careerism -- has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this brazen franion and show him that I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about his disquisitions. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that his favorite tactic is known as "deceiving with the truth". The idea behind this tactic is that Saint Luci wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to treat the disease, not the symptoms. Once again, if I were to compile a list of Saint Luci's forays into espionage, sabotage, and subversion, it would fill an entire page and perhaps even run over onto the following one. Such a list would surely make every sane person who has passed the age of six realize that teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain -- with a straight face -- that hanging out with merciless sybarites is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Fortunately, most parents don't fall for this fraud because they know that Saint Luci is totally gung-ho about egotism because he lacks more pressing soapbox issues. Tell Saint Luci that we should use our words to create understanding and progress, not hatred and division, and you'll hear a loud "clang!" as his mind slams shut. He doesn't want to hear that. He doesn't want to believe that what I have been writing up to this point is not what I initially intended to write in this letter. Instead, I decided it would be far more productive to tell you that from secret-handshake societies meeting at "the usual place" to back-door admissions committees, Saint Luci's cronies have always found a way to inspire a recrudescence of imprudent fatuity. My goal for this letter was to deal with Saint Luci appropriately. Know that I have done my best while trying always to raise the most unregenerate phonies you'll ever see out of their cultural misery and lead them to the national community as a valuable, united factor. Let an honest history judge.
