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Christmas Giving: It's the thought that counts!

Kerb Crawler

Kerb Crawler

Closed Fist of the Badlands
"And so, this is Christmas."

I've come to enjoy my time at TK these last 6 months, and have really taken to heart a few of the personalities here, almost going so far as to label some of you "friends," and in a different world we could have gotten drunk, exchanged gifts, and smooched under the mistletoe. And I'm sure you can all say that about various peeps here. Anyway, the financial reality and geographic logistics of us all trying to get each other Christmas gifts would be nigh impossible to coordinate and would surely drive Santa to depression and drink.

However, IF you could give gifts and stocking stuffers to your favorite and most infamous Trolls here at TK, what would you give and to whom?

You can lavish prezzies upon as many posters as you want. Be creative and have fun. Oh, and the beauty: there's no limit to how much you can spend! GIVE UNTIL IT HURTS!
 
jack said:
I would give Hellman the gift of a deep prostate massage.
Click to expand...

Only if you use your tongue, and you'll need to bring your own stepladder.

So Vap, why do you keep ducking my wager? Is it that you don't need the five hundred bucks, or is it that (as we both know) you're completely full of shit?

vapgnome2.gif
 
I would like to give BDM a weeks worth of golf at CCV with a gold plated set of the zingiest drivers he could want.

I want to construct a time machine so that menty can go back in time to see that performance of MJ's he's always talking about, complete with limo service and front row seats.
 
I would like to give Kerb a weeks vacation at the hotel with full spa access for the mrs.
 
I would like to give everyone that does so, a pound of the best pot in the world.
 
I would like to use that time machine I built for menty to take me and cloudscum back to 1966 to see the Jefferson Airplane at Boston Tea Party
 
I would like to give Wheezy a long slow lavender bubble bath, with all the trimmings.
 
I would like to give Wacky the prettiest girl in the world for 12 hours to do with as he likes.
 
I would love to cook a full course dinner for Hambil and Morrighan, with special hors d'oeveures for the pussycats.
 
to start:
a 1964 green Mustang for cognac;

that credenza she's been lusting over to mm;

a Phantom camera and its associated processing accessories to Conchaga;

a month's stay in France at her own little pied a terre (children in England with a wonderful, fun, fully-qualified Nanny) - with Viggio next door for a neighbour and an unopened case of REAL champagne- to English Rose;

the ONE graphic Novel in rough draft,- with annotations by the artists- that he's secretly lusted over, dreamt of for years- for KC;

a Lear Jet, so he could hop back and forth between Greece and England as he wished, - for Menty;

the collection of Pristine Quality 78's she dreams to hear playing in the comfort of her own living room for Cait;

his very own, five-star restaurant - mortgage-free- and filled with doting customers who wait for him to announce the Chef's Menu each day for Blind Groping.

That's all for now.
 
oh - and that set of amazing guns (which of course I can't recall the name of) he was describing in chat months ago to add to his collection for RobL.
 
And First Class tickets for the whole family so he could travel to all those baseball fields/diamonds he hasn't yet been to for Big Dick McGee.
 
For Laker_Girl: Courtside season tickets to the Lakers, and a dinner date with Rick Fox. Also season tickets to the Philadelphia Eagles, provided she goes to the games with me, and "tailgates" before...and after...;);

For curious: the most expensive mountain bike in the world, free repairs for life, and EXCELLENT MEDICAL INSURANCE!;

For jack...a vacation in Hawaii so he can see what it's like to go from snow to the beach in the same day;

For Eggs: One night to do anything he wants with me, provided HE supplies the Roofies;

For Missmanners: Services anytime, anywhere. Erm..."pool" services, of course;

For Wacky: a date with Natalie, Keira, and Anna, which devolves into them having a catfight over which one gets to blow him first;

For Menty...he's too good-lookin' to need much, so he only gets season tickets to see Arsenal play at every venue.

For Gagh: hmmm....he's the toughest. Howzabout any sports jersey he wants?
 
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