Gems from Twitter

[Fuddlemiff]

TWO BRICKS!!

 

[headvoid]

It must be a piss take. Bricks? Snorting two lines, 2 hits later and YOU TURN BLACK.

 

[Cassie]

I wish I had some devil's lettuce.

 

[Cassie]

William Shatner ‏@WilliamShatner

The pandering for replies is not healthy, Tweeters. I'm just here to interact not have my ego stroked. That's only going get you ignored.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

William Shatner ‏@WilliamShatner

The pandering for replies is not healthy, Tweeters. I'm just here to interact not have my ego stroked. That's only going get you ignored.

"...see you tomorrow night, when I'm drunk and trolling for fawning worshippers!"

 

[CaptainWacky]

To be fair any celeibrity who retweets a "can I get a RT?" is PART OF THE PROBLEM NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION.

 

[Cassie]

I don't know how the celebrities can stand it. Some of them get thousands of people begging for a rt everyday.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It's really sad. I don't know why people want that either. It's not a real connection, it's just something the celeb would do on a whim and forget.

UNLIKE my twitter exchange with Ryan Cartwright about a man he saw shitting in a road, in which we had a genuine, human (albeit, alas, electronic) connection.

 

[Cassie]

STOP WEED SMOKING!! ‏@ConcernedMom420
Stretching your ears only creates more orifices in your body for the devil to sodomize.

This is my new favorite Twitterer. I suspected it to be a parody from the beginning, and now I'm sure it is. I love how she/he uses pictures of celebrities and gives them made up names, and then proves the devil's lettuce ruined them.

 

[CaptainWacky]

@planetjedward

Lets Make 2013 our Bitch!

 

[Fuddlemiff]

That'd have more meaning if it wasn't written by someone in their promotions team because the real Jedward are too busy trying to ram their legs into pairs of "Jeddings"* to write any tweets themselves.


*Receiving high approval ratings within the target audience, these are like leggings but coated with industrial strength hairspray making them stiffer than children's tv presenter in a bouncy castle.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They were the first people to tweet in 2013 on my timeline. I think the same was true in 2012 actually...

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

That's fine with me, as long as they keep the bathtime fun vids coming.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Now the Shat (...) is tweeting with Buzz Aldrin too.

https://twitter.com/williamshatner/status/287751147605880833

 

[CaptainWacky]

One small tweet for man?

 

[Cassie]

I think Wesley got a tweet from an astronaut too. He tumblr'd about it, but I missed the tweet.

 

[CaptainWacky]

https://twitter.com/hulkhogan/status/295659210107146240

(It's his daughter.)

 

[Cassie]

Can't a man lust after his daughter in peace?!!!!11

 

[CaptainWacky]

Unfollowed Edward James Olmos. Enough is enough.

Tempted to unfollow Stephen Fry for this football shit.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I unfollowed JGL yesterday. #noregrets