Leave Lok alone. He's doing the best he can with the hand he's been dealt with, and finding it hard to find purchase.
Yes, he has many issues to deal with. Yes, he needs an infusion of self-confidence and should seek one-on-one therapy. Yes, he's muddling through with projects that he finds useful to his self-growth at the moment. Yes, we can all look through the zoo window and see that his choices are not working and there are better choices to make. BUT, this is his life. We cannot change him, only he can. Sometimes, it is better to simply offer quiet support and not get so involved in trying to wrest control of his life and do it for him.
It is the level of our own anger and frustration that should show Lok that we care, but that our "care" may be causing him to retreat back into old and unuseful patterns. This "intervention" is not as helpful as one might think. Are we telling Lok how WE feel and how our helplessness makes us feel, or are we using the so-called "help" to vent our own anger and fears?
Lok's resistence to our suggestions and/or demands to change indicates that we should back off and let him be. Come at him from a place of friendship and concern, not anger and denigration.
Sometimes you have to just let go.
But. . .Lok, this does not mean that you can continue to vent your unhappiness and not invite a response from those around you -- a response you may not like or want to hear. If you are on your chosen path, than accept that those around you are not going to be accepting of your decisions, especially if those decisons are perceived as not really working to your betterment. In other words, time to put up or shut up.
With love,
Enke