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Lord of the Rings tv show

I didn't realise they were uploading 3 episodes today.

I watched the first one. The entire fucking first 20 minutes are completely pointless.

I forgot the Hobbits are Irish and have plants growing in their head.

I did not find this any better than season 1. I found it pretty boring.

Can't be fucked watching the other 2 (I will though, let's face it.)
 
Second episode is a bit better because it has the dwarves in it and they're at least sometimes fun. Should have just made a show about fun dwarves doing dwarve stuff (unrelated to Tolkien.)

Not Gandalf and Not Frodo have decent chemistry, so no idea why they stuck Not Sam with them.

Poor Morfydd Clark is trying really hard to make Galadriel make sense as a character, shame about the writing.

"So you're some some kind of...Lord. Of some some of...Rings."
 
I watched the 1st ep.

It wasn't too terrible, but it did drag on a bit in some parts. I think the writers hate the elves and love the dark side.
 
OMG, I just read someone complaining about the Orcs because they have Orc families, and Orcs are all supposed to be males. I guess they were born of evil magic? I don't even know. It is hilarious that I was right about the writers. They love the goblins!
 
The dwarves were fun, not Gandalf and the Hobbits were fun, but the elves are hard to watch.
 
Episode 3 - Numenor is boring.

The horse managed to travel all that distance to find Isildur and killed spiders and orcs and things but couldn't just throw that bandit off its back?

Female character died on the way back to her home planet, here's a replacement!
 
At least a half dozen lines in episode 4 were just straight out of the movies. And like yeah they were in the books first, but it's obvious they're just trying to remind us of the movies and say "see, this is the same thing!" That, and putting (admittedly pretty good-looking) Ents in it.

Why did Tom have a person-swallowing tree next to his house. Did he take it with him. Does he just happen to always move next door to a person-swallowing tree.

Why is Elrond such a bitch.

Why was it playing out like Isildur was IN LOVE with the wild woman he met the day before.

I guess at least a lot of stuff happened.
 
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"Chat GTP, please write me Tom Bombadil mentoring Gandalf in the exact style of Yoda mentoring Luke in Empire Strikes Back, but like 80% of the lines are out of context quotes from the books."

No, but really: literally just using "the secret fire" as a substitute for The Force (that's not what it is)! LITERALLY doing the bit where Gandalf wants to go and save his friends but Tom wants him to stay and finish his training! Remember that line you like from Gandalf in the book/movie? Turns out he just copied it from Old Tom! AND WHY THE FUCK would Tom Bombadil be fucking training Gandalf to fight Sauron. TOM DOENS'T CARE. HE'S TOM RING-A-FUCKING BOMBADILO.

So blind woman in the Queen again just because a sea creature spat her out. Like two weeks after Trump Jack Black was made King because an eagle looked at him. Will he find a magic bear or something to declare him King again now.
 
2.7 - Look, I can understand if people enjoyed this. It had a huge amount of stuff in it. I certainly can't deny I liked some of the visuals and stuff like the hill troll walking around using Orcs as human shields. The acting from Celebrimbor and Sauron's actors was good. So I don't want to shit on anyone who is loving having this EPIC battle on screen. It's just, TO ME, it all feels unearned. Take the bit where the elf archer woman dies. And it's treated like Boromir dying. Except...I have no idea who she was? I don't remember if she even spoke before this episode! But I'm supposed to care because it goes slow motion and the music swells up?

I don't think a river could be dammed that way or dry up that fast either!
 
Season 1 had its moments, but I could only hate watch season 2. How they’ve not learned any lessons is such a mystery. It’s all the worse because it looks so bloody expensive and there’s clearly been a lot of artistic talent put into the sets, effects and costumes. It’s such a waste.
 
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