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Since my old "Ask me anything" thread is archived

Sadistic Bastard said:
You know, I'm sort of collecting a bunch of people to see in Seattle, so it might be sooner than you think. I'm flattered you asked!

There are several forms of "flying" a submissive, pix's corset/harness setup actually has her more or less vertical, in a "kneeling" position. It works as I find "access" to be easier (as I can keep her legs together or apart more easily). However, even a regular corset ALSO works as a nice way to distribute weight from the "diamonds" along the torso, and allows her to be horizontal and suspended for much longer. If you've got a corset, you might want to (respectfully) suggest it to your Top/Dom next time they determine it's time for you to go flying.

Stress positions while suspended are amazing, as long as it's remember that TENSION is the stressor, not weight. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself. Wish I'd been there to see it!

Next question?
-SB
Click to expand...


I'd be honored to be on the list of Seattle people you're "collecting." Are you familiar with the CSPC? I'm a member there, and can bring you and pix as guests if you'd like to check it out. That's where I do most of my playing.

At the moment, I don't have a Dom of my own, so no one decides for me when it's time to fly. I have a handful of partners who do suspension, so I make a playdate with one of them when our schedules and desires allow. The vertical position you describe sounds interesting. I've been on my side, on my back, face-down, and partly inverted, each of which are fun in their own way. I particularly like it when my legs have separate rope harnesses, because it allows more range of motion. I feel like I'm literally dancing on air as I stretch and move. The stress positions were particularly good for that - instead of relaxing and just floating in place, there was constant muscle tension and an irresistible urge to shift and squirm in order to relieve the strain. Delicious! I don't currently have a corset, but now you've got me thinking about getting one. It makes sense that it would distribute the pressure of the ropes onto a wider area, making it less painful.

And now for another question: have you ever done any fire play?
 
I'm familiar with the CSPC, in fact the SOJ is the same type of group and I know there's been some cross-linkage! Bravo for the good work! :D
pix and I would be delighted to attend as guests.

I'll name drop a little in PM. We may have some mutual friends!

As for your fire-play question: I have no personal experience with it, although I've seen demonstrations. It's interesting, but I've never had the time to learn it.

Now Hot Wax on the other hand.....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

-SB
 
Oh yes, I've heard of SOJ - I take it you're a member? So, it's a date - when you guys come to Seattle, I'll take you to the CSPC for a play party. If you know people who hang out there a lot, then there's a good chance that we do have some mutual friends.

Re: fire play - I tried it for the first time last Friday, and it was a real trip! I'm used to getting an endorphin high from pain, but this is totally different. It doesn't hurt much at all. It's more of a mindfuck, messing with that primal, lizard-brain fear of fire. I'll definitely be doing it again.

Hot wax... yummmmm. I haven't done that in years. One of my play partners has been wanting to learn, though... maybe after the holidays we can make a date...

And, since this is an "Ask Me Anything" thread...

What is the funniest thing that's ever happened to you in a scene?
 
Mmm...Funny's a pretty broad question.

Verbally:
I was on a camping trip with a bunch of scene aware people. I had a sub at the time (but not under formal collar), and she was along.
The discussion was on "service oriented" subs and what makes them happy.
In that vein, as we walked along the muddy path, I commented to her "If you were a real submissive, you'd jump into that puddle and splash around...and enjoy it!"
Without batting an eye she responded with "Yes Sir, and if you were a real Dom, I'd be cumming right now".
(grin)
Maybe you had to be there...

Of course, physically, I remember tying pix up (early in our relationship...before I realized just HOW flexible she is), blindfolding her, and gagging her. I then proceeded to go down and get to work on her. I being rather focused on the task at hand, I noted that she was moving around a LOT...but didn't really note that there was more movement that should be going on. After feeling her climax...I looked up to see her, hands free, blindfold off, ball gag in but the straps un-done.
"You got out!" I said. "Why didn't you say something?!?"
She spat out the ball, grinned at me, and said "Cumming was my responsibility, the knots are yours..."

-SB
 
Sadistic Bastard said:
Poker is a GAME. It is not a profession. Therefore, there will never be a Professional poker player as a winner of this event.

However, since most of them have day-jobs as either wait-staff or as professional con-artists, in a way Every winner will be a professional.

I'm surprised at the question...

-SB
Click to expand...

Poker is a game. A Poker Player is a professional if it provides them with their primary source of income. Poker is not to be confused with gambling. Poker is a skilled based game with an element of luck.

Professional Poker Players were the majority winners of the main event until 2002. An amateur player has won every year since.
 
How long have you and pix been married? What was the wedding like? Was it mainstream, or full of leather and whips? ;)

How old are you? What is your occupation?
 
pix and I celebrated our 9th anniversary this year, and we knew each other for about 3 years before that (platonic for two years, dated for one).

We had a nice, mainstream wedding at a Baptist church. About the only two winks to those in the know was that pix took the traditional "Love, Honor, Obey" vows while I took "Love, Honor, and Cherish" in response, and our "first dance" was a Viennese waltz to Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters".

A few months before that, however, I hosted a party and formally collared her in front of dozens of friends, and that was all "whips and leather". Depending on how you look at it, that was also a "wedding" as far as formality and commitment.

I'm 40. And I manage an R&D group at an electronics company (Engineer by training, and I still do some of that besides my managerial and project management duties).

-SB
 
Sadistic Bastard said:
Mmm...Funny's a pretty broad question.

Verbally:
I was on a camping trip with a bunch of scene aware people. I had a sub at the time (but not under formal collar), and she was along.
The discussion was on "service oriented" subs and what makes them happy.
In that vein, as we walked along the muddy path, I commented to her "If you were a real submissive, you'd jump into that puddle and splash around...and enjoy it!"
Without batting an eye she responded with "Yes Sir, and if you were a real Dom, I'd be cumming right now".
(grin)
Maybe you had to be there...

Of course, physically, I remember tying pix up (early in our relationship...before I realized just HOW flexible she is), blindfolding her, and gagging her. I then proceeded to go down and get to work on her. I being rather focused on the task at hand, I noted that she was moving around a LOT...but didn't really note that there was more movement that should be going on. After feeling her climax...I looked up to see her, hands free, blindfold off, ball gag in but the straps un-done.
"You got out!" I said. "Why didn't you say something?!?"
She spat out the ball, grinned at me, and said "Cumming was my responsibility, the knots are yours..."

-SB
Click to expand...


LOL! You do like the sassy ones, don't you?
 
Do you have threesomes in your scenes? If so, have you ever had sex with a guy? What about orgies? Does including another person get complicated with emotional repercussions and such?

I'm not trying to be crass. I'm genuinely curious. And you *did* open the floor...
 
My Dear Miss Friday, I did and you are not being crass. Genuine questions cannot offend.

pix and I have had threesomes (and foursomes). While a naked man in bed with me doesn't bother me, I really am not attracted to men, so no, I've never had sex with a man, despite some very charming offers. I do, however, prefer MMf threesomes IF the man is also straight, if he's a Dom, and if the female is submissive. There is a very powerful vibe in two men "using" a woman with the right mind-set. There can be an almost competitive/conspiratorial vibe between the two men of "Watch what she does when I do THIS". The focus on these is rather complex, while it appears to be all on the woman, if she's "mine" there is an element of pride on my part with regard to her training and performance...
Orgies...mmm...most public or semi-public "scene" events actually don't include sex. I've only belonged to one organization where it was permitted, and that was an "invitation only" group for long-term couples and triads. Even then, outright orgies didn't happen. I have gone to non-scene events that turned into them, but didn't participate beyond being an aloof voyeur. I'm afraid I'm a little too picky to be overly-promiscuous anymore.

As far as including another person, yes it can get complicated. When pix and I had an open relationship we had very strict rules regarding physical safety and emotional openness. We both had a "veto" power over a prospective lover, and we always talked to a potential partner without the spouse in the room, so we could really talk frankly with a prospect. The exception to this was only during a scene with pix in "formal" mode, then I held ALL controls and responsibility and could "gift" her or include others as I wished (and this was very rare that it happened).
Outside lovers have enriched us both...but it has also cost us at times. We were very involved with another couple for a number of years, when they broke up we too had to deal with a lot of the emotional fallout. Lovers we didn't approve of have caused tension between pix and I.
It is all in what you choose. Since becoming parents, pix and I have "closed" our relationship mainly due to the emotional energy. My son takes up too much of it for us to really 'spend' on someone else, although I maintain some close, non-physical relationships as does pix. I have one ex-slave who lives close, the female half of that couple I mentioned earlier (who is also a close friend of pix's), and a lover in all but physical act that I am still close to, and pix has some of her old girlfriends and a male friend (who is also a lover in all but act) who all are romantic to us to a greater or lesser degree.
I could wax on about being polyamorous...but I'll save that for another day. Most people don't understand the term, or it's costs/benefits. Suffice it to say that being a parent of a toddler and having multiple romances really hasn't worked for pix and I. We just don't have the energy for it. Maybe in the future...but that's a door pix and I have to choose to re-open together and after a LOT of discussion. The mechanism for it exists in the "rules" we run our relationship by, but right now I can't see it happening.
Still...one never knows what the future brings. Mrs. Morrhigan may charm us both, or someone who shall not be named but sends me delightfully naughty PM's may visit and we won't be able to resists her charms.
:D
-SB
 
How can one be "a lover in all but one act"? What does that mean?

Now that you have a two year old, how do you keep your sexual preferences under wraps? Where do you keep your most unusual sexual toys? In a locked room? Are you afraid of "thin walls"?

With your chosen lifestyle, certain phrases and comments must leak into your everyday vernacular. How are you going to keep these telling phrases from your son/daughter, especially as s/he becomes older, and can discern the hidden meanings behind your repartee?
 
Friday said:
How can one be "a lover in all but one act"? What does that mean?
Click to expand...

(smile)
Real sex takes place between the ears. The rest is just friction.
In my view, one can share the intimacy of a lover, without the friction (but it's often frustrating).

Now that you have a two year old, how do you keep your sexual preferences under wraps? Where do you keep your most unusual sexual toys? In a locked room? Are you afraid of "thin walls"?

With your chosen lifestyle, certain phrases and comments must leak into your everyday vernacular. How are you going to keep these telling phrases from your son/daughter, especially as s/he becomes older, and can discern the hidden meanings behind your repartee?
Click to expand...

Excellent questions, and that is a worry of ours.
The "fixtures" are gone, the only two items that were "furniture" sized are dual use (a weight bench and an overhead rail in the garage). Our bed has some cleats and other items, but they are not in easy view. The horse and the spanking bench were given away. As for the rest of the toys, we have a locked trunk where they reside. We also have a friend with the combination to it, and she knows to go and empty it out should something happen to the two of us. We are afraid of "thin walls" and don't do impact play in the house anymore.

As for the rest...I have no illusions that we will "slip" sooner or later, although I will use the "This is an adult thing, I will explain it to you when you are older if you still want to know" fallback until they are 18. By then, I doubt he will want details on his parent's sex life.
However, our son will see us flirt, kiss, hold hands, hug, and snuggle. I believe that is good for children to see that their parents have a vibrant, active love of each other.
There is also a religious aspect we will use. I am the "head of the household", with the command that that implies...and the responsibility and sacrifice that goes with it. If he catches that vibe, then I will not be upset.

-SB
 
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