Troll Kingdom
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TK Christmas List
- Thread starter Friday
- Start date
Friday
Bazinga!
Okay, this thread has shown me TK has a shitload of active members. If this board *ever* gets terminally dead again, I'm personally coming after each and every one of you, so help me! 
dogbert, I didn't forget you. I was trying to decide the perfect gift. 
Here it is:
dogbert: A lifetime supply of ready made usernames, emails, and IP addresses, to keep him eternally replenished while he tries to get his ass banned from every board and chat in cyberspace.
And a personally signed letter from George W. Bush, thanking him for his eternal vigilance in keeping his name active and visible on these here internets. All of them.
dogbert, I didn't forget you. I was trying to decide the perfect gift.
Here it is:
dogbert: A lifetime supply of ready made usernames, emails, and IP addresses, to keep him eternally replenished while he tries to get his ass banned from every board and chat in cyberspace.
And a personally signed letter from George W. Bush, thanking him for his eternal vigilance in keeping his name active and visible on these here internets. All of them.
eloisel
Forever Empress E
Friday said:Sorry if I'm adding some people late. But I'll get to you, rest assured...
eloisel: A notarized letter from Messenger stating he is in awe of your cunning and skill. He will also admit the reason he chickened out of "The War" is because he knew you were going to annihilate his ass.
He will then submit to being your slave for the next year.
Merry Christmas, eloisel!
awww. You're so sweet. No one has ever given me a slave for a year before. But, I need a man that can do manly things like saw wood, build cabinets, fix things.
P.S. I was going to annihilate his ass. He'd have liked it.
Sadistic Bastard
No Mercy
MM - Upgrade to "Platnum" (or whatever the highest level is) for her Lifetime Membership in the NRA, copies of the biographies of Emma Goldman and Voltairine de Cleyre, and an old "Mujeres Libres" banner from the Spanish Civil War.
Conchanga - A copy of a Freemason's bible, and a complete copy of the Apocrypha, both useful for reference and debate.
Friday - A "Maplewood Academy" delux leather paddle, and a sensual introduction to the use of the same.
Mentalist - Tickets to Vagas, 5 nights at the MGM Grand, a $100 gambling allowance, and tickets to see Gerry McCambridge.
There are others...I'll get to them sooner or later (after all, it's only Dec 1st).
Conchanga - A copy of a Freemason's bible, and a complete copy of the Apocrypha, both useful for reference and debate.
Friday - A "Maplewood Academy" delux leather paddle, and a sensual introduction to the use of the same.
Mentalist - Tickets to Vagas, 5 nights at the MGM Grand, a $100 gambling allowance, and tickets to see Gerry McCambridge.
There are others...I'll get to them sooner or later (after all, it's only Dec 1st).
DarthSikle
GFHH Moderator
Sadistic Bastard said:
I can lend him one of mine. With certain sections blacklined of course.
Friday
Bazinga!
2 more...
Sadistic Bastard: For SB, the gifts of peace and success. And a gift certificate in the amount of $1,000.00 to be used towards the sex toy of his choice, since I'm not sure what he has.
Cait: What I'd give Cait, will remain personal. But if wishes could truly be granted, I would grant her the one wish she holds closest to her heart.
Sadistic Bastard: For SB, the gifts of peace and success. And a gift certificate in the amount of $1,000.00 to be used towards the sex toy of his choice, since I'm not sure what he has.
Cait: What I'd give Cait, will remain personal. But if wishes could truly be granted, I would grant her the one wish she holds closest to her heart.
DarthSikle
GFHH Moderator
I think she's using the Imperium account now.
Sadistic Bastard
No Mercy
Mirah, A Spa-day with massage, hot and cold dips, facial, manicure, limmo ride ending at a 1/2 hour poetry reading by Yours Truly of my own works in a private redwood grove.
That's because she's always been nice.
DarthSikle: Professionally trained and impeccably credentialed babysitting for his little ones twice a month for an entire evening. As a bonus, said babysitters are also working their way through the "Exotic Dance Academy" on scholarships.
Because gifts should occasionally be tempting.
Eggs, Two week condo rental on fire-island. Further explanation should be unnecessary.
LakerGirl, a can of mace, a taser, a baseball bat, and 20 minutes in a room alone with John Kerry with no questions asked.
Large Richard (AKA BDM) Those starwars cards I said I'd send him but never found again. Also a subscription to "Hot Asian Nympho's Weekly" to claim that he didn't subscribe to (but since it keeps arriving at the door, he might as well take 'em into the bathroom for some recreational reading).
More to come.
That's because she's always been nice.
DarthSikle: Professionally trained and impeccably credentialed babysitting for his little ones twice a month for an entire evening. As a bonus, said babysitters are also working their way through the "Exotic Dance Academy" on scholarships.
Because gifts should occasionally be tempting.
Eggs, Two week condo rental on fire-island. Further explanation should be unnecessary.
LakerGirl, a can of mace, a taser, a baseball bat, and 20 minutes in a room alone with John Kerry with no questions asked.
Large Richard (AKA BDM) Those starwars cards I said I'd send him but never found again. Also a subscription to "Hot Asian Nympho's Weekly" to claim that he didn't subscribe to (but since it keeps arriving at the door, he might as well take 'em into the bathroom for some recreational reading).
More to come.
Sadistic Bastard
No Mercy
Archibald Nixon - A $200 Netflix gift certificate, and a copy of Life's "That's Entertainment" MGM Musical Documentary on DVD.
Coyote Ugly - a Piranha Pro TS G3 and hopper of 500 indelible ink balls in various colors.
RU Ready - Chap stick and "wet look" lip gloss in a rainbow of colors...and a gross box of "Skittles".
-SB
Coyote Ugly - a Piranha Pro TS G3 and hopper of 500 indelible ink balls in various colors.
RU Ready - Chap stick and "wet look" lip gloss in a rainbow of colors...and a gross box of "Skittles".
-SB
Starship Coyote
Original Gangster!
Thanks, but I already have that. Take it back and exchange it for a free 90 days in drug rehab for yourself. Or maybe some dentures.Friday said:
Oh hell yeah! Now you're talking. If you can't swing that, then an unregistered 9mm will do.Sadistic Bastard said:
Grammour Boy
Rebel
I might be leaving the board for good. :-?Friday said:OH! How did I ever forget:
Grammour Boy: A flashlight and an oxygen tank, so he can breathe, and be able to track his progress up Caitriona's ass.
Grammour Boy
Rebel
This board.Friday said:
Don't mention it. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. I followed my instinct. It has yet to fail me thus far.
A virtual date with Enki is all I want for X-Mas :bigass:I'll think of a nicer present for you.
Think you can make it happen?
Friday
Bazinga!
Grammour Boy: I will give him his heart's desire: Enki. They will go on a virtual date, complete with music compliments of Pandora, a romantic fire, a meal compliments of Pizza Hut, and a pair of webcams for that "almost there" feel.Grammour Boy said:
The only limits are their imagination.
Enkephalen
My Stars!
Grammour Boy: A reservation for the Penthouse Suite at my Hotel California, where all fantasies can come true, even the ones yet to be dreamt.
RuReady/Queen Noodle: True friendship.
Conchaga: Splendor and delight with as many and varied partners as he desires.
Mentalist: A career in Hollywood as a leading man.
DarthSikle: A full pardon from Ex Isle, apology announced in the AQG, being elevated from mere Islander 2.0 to Watchdog with custom rank bar beneath his name (including punctuation).
Friday: Health, happiness and no more fear.
Sadistic Bastard: A best selling book on S&M selected by Oprah’s Book Club.
Laker_Girl: Her own syndicated internet advice column for the modern woman.
eloisel: To win a huge powerball lottery and retire to her island with WiFi, and a manservant.
Dogbert: To never be forgotten again.
Jack: Coal. . .just coal, but oh, the income!!
CoyoteUgly: To walk in the shoes of those he disparages.
Grandtheftcow: To experience one grand and perfect troll the likes of which will become legend, forever spoken of in hushed whispers tinged with fear and awe on every BBS on the internet. His name is Cow and his followers are legion!
Messenger: To quell the anger within and find the love of a good woman.
LoveChild: To be loved and cherished by those people who are important to her.
Miss Manners: A year’s supply of replaceable cabana boys and an interview with IPSSA (International Pool and Spa Service Association) on proper poolboy maintenance.
Sarek: To finally get what he has demanded for so long – for Henoch to shut the f*ck up.
Henoch: To realize that the attention he receives from Sarek is a form of love.
Number_6: To be published and bask in the accolades of his peers.
Shatna -- to be forgiven and to forgive himself.
RuReady/Queen Noodle: True friendship.
Conchaga: Splendor and delight with as many and varied partners as he desires.
Mentalist: A career in Hollywood as a leading man.
DarthSikle: A full pardon from Ex Isle, apology announced in the AQG, being elevated from mere Islander 2.0 to Watchdog with custom rank bar beneath his name (including punctuation).
Friday: Health, happiness and no more fear.
Sadistic Bastard: A best selling book on S&M selected by Oprah’s Book Club.
Laker_Girl: Her own syndicated internet advice column for the modern woman.
eloisel: To win a huge powerball lottery and retire to her island with WiFi, and a manservant.
Dogbert: To never be forgotten again.
Jack: Coal. . .just coal, but oh, the income!!
CoyoteUgly: To walk in the shoes of those he disparages.
Grandtheftcow: To experience one grand and perfect troll the likes of which will become legend, forever spoken of in hushed whispers tinged with fear and awe on every BBS on the internet. His name is Cow and his followers are legion!
Messenger: To quell the anger within and find the love of a good woman.
LoveChild: To be loved and cherished by those people who are important to her.
Miss Manners: A year’s supply of replaceable cabana boys and an interview with IPSSA (International Pool and Spa Service Association) on proper poolboy maintenance.
Sarek: To finally get what he has demanded for so long – for Henoch to shut the f*ck up.
Henoch: To realize that the attention he receives from Sarek is a form of love.
Number_6: To be published and bask in the accolades of his peers.
Shatna -- to be forgiven and to forgive himself.