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Wacky Reviews: Things He's Watched On Netflix

Nerve - A movie about teenagers playing an online dare game, based on a young adult novel? Doesn't sound like something I'd usually watch, but it has Emma Roberts in it so I watched it! And it was actually pretty good! Like a Black Mirror episode accept they don't all turn out to be paedos at the end. The internet stuff was integrated well and it looked pretty with all the neon colours. It was well directed and the acting was good. On the downside, while it starts off as quite believable it does go really extreme and over the top by the end. And the "shy girl falls for mysterious bad boy" stuff betrays its young adult origins. BUT it was good overall I enjoyed it. Emma Roberts is good (though I kind of hope this is the last time she plays a high school student.)
 
I laughed for like five minutes at "it was the ultimate CLIFF HANGER."

KJ Apa BROKE HIS HAND for real punching through the ice in the finale.
 
The Neon Demon - A young girl (Elle Fanning) goes to Hollywood to be a model. Everyone wants a piece of her. (LITERALLY. HAHA.) This is the kind of movie that makes me think I'm stupid and can't appreciate "art" because it's a very arty movie that some people seem to love, and it definitely looks beautiful. Like really stunning. And the soundtrack is good. But like...it's really literal. The dialogue is bad. Every character is a very specific thing with no depth. The acting is kind of stilted but I guess that was intentional. I did like the parts where Elle Fanning's character showed that she wasn't a dumb and naive girl and understood what was going on. Jena Malone gives a good performance. It's a good film to look at because there's so many stunning shots. There's some good suspenseful moments. But also it could have been an hour shorter and made no difference? And the ending was kind of hilarious but I don't think it was meant to be. It's all so literal that I found it silly. So yeah. It's well made. It's just not my kind of thing I guess.
 
So Tilda plays the Marlon Brando role, and the Matthew Broderick character is a little Asian girl.



"No, ma'am, In not Christian Bale and I haven't let myself go. I'm Paul Dano!"
 
Yeah it wasn't apparent in the trailer. The climax of the movie is a big dinner where rich elite guests pay huge sums of money to eat the near-extinct kimodo dragon. OR DO THEY?
 
Turns out Marlon is only a fake mobster and they scam the rich folk each year. They served them smoked turkey. SO HE'S A GRIFTER BUT NOT A MURDERING EXTINCT ANIMAL ABUSER and Matthew gets to have sex with his daughter played by Penelope Ann Miller in a bad perm.

Oh SPOILERS.
 
It's pretty funny but not a side-splitter. The running gag throughout the whole film is that everyone tiptoes around the fact that Marlon Brando's character looks exactly like Don Corleone from The Godfather.

Bruno Kirby (also from The Godfather) plays Marlon's lackey, and a young baby-faced Frank Whaley plays the wacky Robert Downey Jr best-college-friend who wears a fedora and thrift shop dress jackets with the sleeves rolled up.
 
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