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Wacky Watches: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel

Villains - So here it is. Willow's grief for Tara has her bent on a dark magic fuelled revenge. This episode is pretty non-stop with the thrilling action! Willow drinking in all the words from the dark magic books like pretty cool. Meanwhile Spike has started using ambiguous language about "giving that bitch what she deserves" and he's gone off to do something. Warren is certainly an evil jerk but the actor does a fine job! The scene where Willow has him in the woods is pretty great. And then "bored now" happens. Let's all agree to ignore the bullshit comics that had Amy teleport Warren out and keep him alive because that sure didn't happen.

Two To Go - This is very good too! Anya gets in on the action by teleporting and stuff. All the scenes here are well stage with the prison escape and Willow flying and then Willow stealing a fucking truck! Willow being mean to Dawn is sad but it's well acted. Then that show where Willow is talking to Buffy and the it rotates and suddenly they're in the Magic Box. And OH SNAP it's Giles and he's here to test a theory! This is good stuff.

Grave - And this...isn't...as good? I wish it was but...it kind of runs out of momentum. Like the more Dark Willow speaks the less interesting she becomes. It's good to have Giles back but I don't know if the "laughing about how crap season 6" scene was a good idea. Buffy and Dawn get trapped together in a grave just to give them something to do and suddenly Dawn's all "why didn't you tell me that Spike tried to rape you and that Giles is back in the middle of Willow trying to kill us?" Like, give her a break Dawn. And suddenly the story is "Buffy's trying to protect Dawn from the world!" but that hasn't been their arc this season! It only comes up in this episode! It's like they'd already resolved the "Buffy ignores Dawn/Dawn shoplifts" thing so they had to make up something else for the finale to give Buffy a moment. And the the parts in the last two episodes where someone mentions Spike and we got to him fighting someone in a cave and using annoyig twisty language are annoying. Then there's Willow wanting to DESTROY THE WORLD. I mean I get it, she feels all the pain in the world and wants to end it and it's a metaphor for how we all want to destroy the world when someone we love dies, but surely the scene with Xander would have worked just as well if he'd been talking her out of killing Andrew and Jonathan or something. HAVING SAID THAT it is a strong scene and the best Xander stuff since season five. So yeah this episode is pretty good (certainly by the standards of season six) but it's the worst season finale.

Deep Down - The only way this episode sufferes is that they have to keep putting in lines that recap previous events and they feel a bit forced. I guess they were trying to get new viewers up to speed. But this is a very good season opener. I like Connor living with Fred and Gunn like the way Dawn lived with Tara And Willow. He deserves the tasing Fred gave him. Wesley has Justine in a cage with a bucket and that's pretty dark! Wesley seems like the reasonable one here when Fred is all "you don't care at all!" right after he saved Angel for them. Lilah's scene killing Linwood is great. Angel's speech to Connor at the end is very good other than the word "Champion" being thrown in there. This is a good start to the season.
 
Ground State - Gwen Raiden's background seems really "inspired" by Rogue from X-Men, but I do like her! This episode is good fun. In the end all the effort they go to to get the Arc of Pythia (or whatever it was called) is kind of pointless as Angel's sees Cordy in Heaven and decides to leave her there. But she wants to leave. It's the opposite of Buffy! The Wesley/Lilah scene is hot.

The House Always Wins - Cordy's still in a higher realm and she does commentary on some of the episode. It's the one where they go to Las Vegas and Lorne sings and Fred dresses up as a Lornette. It's okay.

Slouching Towards Bethlehem - Cordelia's back! But...with amnesia. And it's not good. For the show. It's really tedious watching Cordelia walking around the hotel getting scared by things. What's the point of Cordy if she isn't Cordy? Finally she goes away with Connor because she feels a "connection" to him and he grabs her tit at one point. So that's weird. The only thing saving this episode from being completely bad is the Welsey/Lilah plotline which is very good. Just a shame about any scene Cordelia is. Wolfram and Hart suck Lorne's brain to read his vison of Cordy's future so let's remember that.
 
What rough beast, its hour come round at last
slouches towards bethlehem to be born

(it is a reference to the first big bad of the season get it)
 
The reference was also appropriated by Joni Mitchell for this great song, from one of her more underrated albums:

[YOUTUBE]f1j0j4r_gnw[/YOUTUBE]
 
Supersymmetry - Fred finds out it was her old professor who sent her to Pylea and plans to murder him with help from Wesley. Gunn breaks his neck in front of her and tosses him into the portal so that Fred won't become a killer. This probably wasn't Gunn's smartest move. This episode is...okay? I guess? It had Angel saying "they talk about me in the chatty rooms?" so that's a good thing! Cordy's still hanging out with Connor being weird and they kiss each other. I don't know what we're supposed to feel about these Cordelia scenes.

Spin The Bottle - Written and directed by Joss Whedon, you say? And it's a great episode? Well okay then! Good! Yeah it's a bit like 'Tabula Rasa' but who cares when it's this good and actually it's better than 'Tabula Rasa' so there. Cordy says "hello salty goodness" like she did on Buffy once! Wesley is funny being scared of his pop-out swords. He was head boy. Fred says "y'all" a lot and wants to score some weed. Angel as Liam thankfully doesn't use his terrible Irish accent. This is very funny. And there's lots of sexual innuendos! But it also gets sad at the end and that's nice too. I remember reading a theory once that the Lorne framing scenes actually take place after 'Not Fade Away" and I really like that theory.

Apocalypse, Nowish - Remember how they renamed this episode 'Rain Of Fire' when it first aired? I think that was a thing. Cordy got her memory back in the previous episode but she's still haning out with Connor and she explains to Angel that she saw all his evil deeds so she can't be in love with him. Okay...I don't really buy that but there's a twist coming up that would suggest this was a lie from Cordy anyway, but I feel like you're supposed to believe it as you watch this episode. Also here's a thing to note: Cordy has a dream where the Beast chokes her. She wakes up scared of the Beast. This happens FROM CORDELIA'S POINT OF VIEW so she was definitely scared and reacting like someone who wasn't in league with the Beast. Remember that! Wolfram and Hart reading Lorne's brain does turn out to be important as Team Angel uses the data to find where the Beast is. Angel says "are you in?" to Wesley and tosses him a crossbow and that's a nice moment. And then the fight scene with the Beast is REALLY GOOD. I like the Beast's look and he's super fucking invicible and Wesley pulls out a shotgun and Angel switches to vamp face as he flips through the air and this whole sequence rules. And then when the fire is raining and everyone looks sad and Wes and Gunn are holding each other up that's all good too. And then...Cordy and Connor have sex. That's not good. That is not a good way to end this episode.

Habeas Corpses - This is the one where The Beast kills nearly everyone in Wolfram and Hart and then they turn into zombies. It's pretty cool in those scenes! It's pretty dark and unrelenting. The Wesley/Lilah stuff continues to be great as well. What drags it down is that Gunn is written to be SO FUCKING ANNOYING in this epiosde. You'd think him and Welsey would be okay with working together after the rain of fire, but nope every time Wesley talks Gunn makes some annoying comment. It's really bad. Most other things in the episode are good! I like how the Beast is poking around inside Lilah and it's not realy explained but later you see it poking around inside the little girl in the White Room and it makes sense! Gavin dies. Then comes back as a zombie. Then dies again. Poor Gavin. He was funny. "Now take your new boyfriend and get the Hell out."
 
Reminder that there was a two month gap between Apocalypse Nowish and Habeas Corpses and that Cordy/Connor having sex is the last thing anyone saw for a looong while.


Apocalypse Nowish is the first episode of Angel I watched.
 
Lessons - I like the opening scene between Buffy and Dawn. I like how Dawn is written in season 7. Even people who hated Dawn would probably add "but she was good in season seven!" Buffy season openers never really go above "good" though and this one is let down a bit by the plot with the zombie/ghosts. They're all people who have died in Sunnydale High because Buffy didn't protect them, but we've never seen any of them before. If they'd all been actual characters seen in previous episodes and Buffy had reacted in a way other than "I don't care about your sorrow" this could have been great. It feels like a missed opportunity. But anyway the best part of this episode is the scene with Spike and all the Big Bads that ends with the First as Buffy saying "it's about power" which was also said by the real Buffy in the first line of the episode. It's the theme of the season I guess! Also there's Kit and Carlos. They're memorable. There's a lot of stuff in here that seems to be foreshadowing the themes of the season and I don't know if it's all going to pay off...

Beneath You - There's a lot of mentions of stuff being underground and Willow says "it's all connected" to Giles a lot (maybe that was the previous episode. Willow's in England with Giles. Magic isn't an addiction anymore because that was stupid.) The villain here is an underground worm guy created by Anya. And he's fucking lame. He looks like something out of an Amiga game. Most of this episode is pretty dull (Xander flirts with a girl a bit and stuff) but it finally gets good in the last eight minutes when Spike stabs the worm guy just as Anya turns him human again. Spike goes on a well-acted rant in a church (that was rewritten by Joss) and the episode ends with him lying against a cross as it burns him. That's memorable too. Oh this episode and the first episode started with potential slayers dying so there's that as well.

Same Time, Same Place - This is the best one of the season so far. The emotional stuff with Willow is good! There's good comedy with sexy posable paralysed Dawn. The villain is probably "inspired" by Gollum (I mean he lives in a cave) but he is actually quite creepy which is kind of rare for Buffy. The scene where Spike talks to people who can't see each other at the same time is good. Buffy shares some of her power with Willow at the end and I wonder if that's foreshadowing! Xander says "seriously, the thumbs?" after Buffy thumbs out the demon's eyes and that's probably foreshadowing too!
 
Help - This is one of those episodes that everyone but me seemed to love and think was one of the BEST EVER wheras I thought it was just...pretty good? The story's fine, I like the message that Buffy can't always help everyone but will always try, but a lot of it's very...melodramatic? I mean they read sad internet poetry. They all cry like normal tv people would when Cassie dies. It doesn't feel like a Buffy episode. Cassie's actress speaks in a wobbily voice that I find kind of irritating but maybe I'm being unfair. There's a bit where Willow and Xander remind the audience that "something evil is coming" soon. There's a lot of bits like that this season. But like I said this episode is pretty good!

Selfless - This is very good. There's never really been an Anya centric episode. Perhaps because like this episode says Anya isn't really a person in her own right. She defines herself by whatever she's doing at the moment in question. The episode also reveals that Anya was strangely literal and lacking in emotions even as a human, which is kind of a major change? I mean I guess it was never said that she was that way because of being a demon for a thousand years but I kind of assumed. We get a new song and it's pretty good and the way it cuts back to Anya run through with a sword by Buffy is very effective. It's Drew Goddard's fist script and it's a great debut as the episode is packed with great lines from Anya and especially D'Hoffryn. Seriously D'Hoffryn was better in this episode than the First is all season. I like the scene where Buffy, Willow and Xander discuss what do with Anya and lots of old wounds are reopened. ANYWAY D'Hoffryn kills Halfrek instead of Anya because "always go for the kill rather than the hurt" and I didn't really care about Halfrek but it's a memorable death! I hope we see Anya's voyage of self discovery continue throughout the season.

Him - OKAY I have some complaints about this episode and HERE THEY ARE: The previous episode ended with D'Hoffryn making a big, well acted speech about how he's not going to kill Anya and had Anya and Xander walking in opposite directions as she goes to find herself. This episode starts with Buffy rescuing Anya from...a demon D'Hoffryn sent to kill her. That's stupid. Then Anya spends the rest of the episode hanging out with the Scobbies. She's funny but what happened to her going out on her own to become her own person? It's like Selfless never happened (well except she's human again.) Also the episode is kind of slow as I noticed most of the super funny moments (Buffy with the rocket laucher, Spke and Xander stealing the jacket, Willow saying "Hecate doesn't like that!") all happen in the last ten minutes. Xander says "daddy like" even though he had a good scene last season poining out how creepy it was when Warren wanted a girl to call him daddy. And there was a perfect opportunity to have Dawn say "get out, get out, get out!" again and they didn't take it. BUT ANYWAY this episode is good fun. Michelle Trachtenberg is a very talented comedy actress and does good work here and she's grown into a very beautiful 16/17 year old and you were all thiking it too okay. And the last scene with her and Buffy is quite touching. And I watched this episode on BBC2 with Menty over ten yars ago and it was good times that will never come again.

Conversations With Dead People - This is season seven's version of Once More With Feeling as it's clearly the best episode of the season and it's setting a lot of stuff up that isn't going to pay off in a way that lives up to this episode. The Dawn plot is really good and creepy and I continue to like how they've been writing Dawn in season seven and how great Michelle is. Willow stuff is good but...it's a shame Amber Benson didn't want to come back or that they couldn't at least get a character Willow has met before. HOWEVER I will say that the Cassie actress was actually really good when she revealed herself to be The First. Maybe they should have had her back. Buffy plot is great and Jonathan Woodward is awesome as Holden. The Andrew/Jonathan stuff is good too. That speech Jonathan gives right before he dies where he talks about missing everyone he went to school with and wanting to know how they're doing now? That's how I feel about people who don't post on this message board anymore. This episode is great.
 
Long Day's Journey - This is one that feels more than ever like part of an ongoing arc rather than an episode in its own right. It is good though! Gwen is back and I still quite like her and she has a cool secret lair (Angel gave her the Arc of Pythia back and she sold it.) Manny is a fun one shot character. The sun is blocked out at the end! That's pretty huge! Even though it's just in LA for now you'd think they'd be talking about it in Sunnydale...

Awakening - This is one where some people will say "THE EPISODE NEVER HAPPENED SO IT'S BAD" but I love it. Angel's crazy fantasy is just so much fun and it tells us a lot about Angel's character and what a perfect day would be like for him. They go on an Indiana Jones adventure ("wood, why did it have to be wood")! Cordy makes a pun about her breasts! Wesley finally says "sorry" for something! Angel makes a specch where he uses the word "Champion"! Gunn and Wes high five! Angel and Cordy have sex and Connor's cool with it! Fred and Lorne are also there! It's like the episode gives viewers the kind of comforting, easy solution they want (the way to defeat the Beast is written on a guy's body!) then cruelly snatches it away from them with the final twist that yes it was all a dream and Angelus is back and he's laughing it up. This is a good episode.

Soulless - So Angelus is back and...he does feel kind of different than in Buffy. I remember people being disappointed in this episode and I can kind of see it. But it's well directed (by Sean Astin!) and there's a lot of tension every time someone new goes to see Angel. And the scene where Connor runs out and throws up after seeing the slaughtered family is the best Connor moment so far.

Calvary - The whole "sun being blocked out" thing has been a bit of a letdown as we don't really see much of what's happening in LA. Just thought I'd mention that! Lilah's back and she's been hiding out in the sewers and she's in a sorry state. I feel bad for her! The part where Gunn and Connor go to fight the demon thing is actually fun and Gunn's much better now that he's split up with Fred and the love triangle baggage is gone. Fred's hair changes halfway through the episode. Anyway, Angelus escapes and I like how him chasing Lilah reminds us of him chasing Jenny back in the day. The big twist comes when it's finally revealed that Cordy is evil and we can finally go "oh all those bad Cordy scenes this season were becaue she was evil!" Except...I don't know when they actually decided on her being evil. Remember I mentioned her dream in Apocalypse Nowish where she was scared of the Beast. But you could say that was the realy Cordy dreaming, trapped inside Evil Cordy. But also the Cordy/Connor thing started when she had amnesia which was before Jasmine was woken up inside her. And even knowing she was evil all those scenes where she talked about her feelings with Angel were hard to get through.

Salvage - Now that we know Cordy is evil it's a lot more fun and we actually get to watch her being evil. If she had revealed that she was pregnant back when we still thought she was Cordy it would have been horrible but now it's crazy fun. Angelus is on the loose and Wesley goes to Faith for help. The scene where they break out of prison and Wesley say "five by five" is really cool. Faith is pretty great in this episode. She has fun interactions with every, even Connor (okay not so much Fred...Fred's kind of fallen to the wayside in recent episodes?) Faith gets the shit beaten out of her by the Beast while Angelus makes snarky comments. This episode is pretty great. The only thing that's a bit annoying is the Beast making a weapon that can kill him and dying so easily. But I guess he's served his purpose.
 
Release - So Angelus still hasn't killed anyone human. Did they purposely avoid that so that they wouldn't have to deal with it? He starts this episode hanging around a demon bar boasting about killing the Beast and it seems kind of...beneath Angelus? The Welsey/Faith stuff is really good though. I like how it's a twisted version of the Watcher/Slayer relationship. Angel and Faith have a fight where they jump on things and the picture's very dark and he bites her WILL SHE DIE?

Orpheus - Willow has made a couple of short appearances in Angel before but now she's a full on guest star. And she's good! I'm further ahead on Angel than Buffy but I'm fairly sure she's more fun here than there. Fred gets to be happy and get some good lines again. Faith is still good too (FOR THE LAST TIME?) and I enjoy her trip through Angel's past with Angelus being a dick. Angel saves a puppy from being run over. Connor's been more annoying in the last three episodes (maybe because Evil Cordy's made him be annoying with her hammy acting and breasts) and keeps saying "I HATE MAGIC" all the time. It's good when Faith beats him up.
 
Sleeper - This episode is pretty dull. We already know Spike is killing people because we saw him do it in the previous episode, so watching Buffy try to find out if he's killing people isn't very interesting. And sad, crazy Spike isn't as entertaining as, like, any other version of Spike. The part where Anya pretends she came to Spike for sex is funny, maybe? And the part where the band stops playing when Spike stakes a vamp then just starts up again. It ends with Buffy going to a spooky house with Spike (even though she knows he's killing people) and being attacked by vampires he buried. Oh and a Bringer swings an axe at Giles so fast that he couldn't possibly have avoided having his head cut off. It's not a good episode.

Never Leave Me - Xander repairs a window. This episode is a bit better than the previous as the Andrew/Willow bit is funny. And Spike talks a bit about getting his soul back and Buffy won't kill him because she believes in him and in theory this is good stuff but it's still a bit dull and slow. Also why did the First even need Andrew? Why not just have mind-controlled Spike kill someone over the bad CGI seal? Or one of the Bringers? It just has the Bringers bleed Spike in the end. It's the first real sign that the First is a bit lame, spending all that time trying to trick Andrew into killing a pig. Robin Wood buries Jonathan's body but shows absolutely no emotion while he does. The Watchers Council die in the most hilariously bad CGI explosion. Like they show one building then show a completely different building blowing up! I remember people on the internet at the time saying "The Watchers aren't really dead! That was someone else being blown up!" The episode ends with the First asking Spike if he wants to see what a real vampire looks like and it turns out that a real vampire looks...kind of lame. These two episodes are real letdowns after how good CWDP was.
 
Yeah Willow is a lot cheerier in Orpheus than she was in Buffy (except when her girlfriend had a pierced tongue), it's really dissonant when you watch the two series together.
 
Bring On The Night - The first few minutes of this episode are actually a dream Buffy is having even though everything is normal in them and real dreams aren't like that. Joyce appears a couple of times but says nothing useful. The first three Potentials arrive and they're all pretty terrible. Kennedy is a bitch to Buffy right away. Molly has the worst cockney accent in the history of the world. Seriously. Joss grew up in England, didn't he notice? (He was probably doing something else.) It's painful every time she speaks. And there's another one who is also English I think and she will only eat plain pizza and she dies at the end. Why was the casting for the Potentials almost universally awful? Giles is back too but they're doing a "IS HE REALLY THE FIRST" mystery kind of (it's only played up in one episode) so he acts like a really subdued version of Giles. Buffy runs into Principal Wood and he's just returning the shovel he used to bury Jonathan. So this is happening a few minutes after the previous episode? Or did he just go out with a shovel again. CWDP took place on November 12th and it seemed like in the show it was just a few days ago yet it's nearly Christmas now? Buffy stakes the Ubervamp but it doesn't die. They fight at the end and it's not as good as the fight scenes on Angel. The Ubervamp kicks Buffy through a wall but then just leaves her for some reason. Also Spike spends the whole episode being tortured and it's pretty boring. The First appears as Dru but even Dru is dull when she's the First. Buffy makes a speech at the end. This episode is bad.

Showtime - Kennedy talks to Willow at the start and Iyari Limon can't convincingly play a human being. Andrew is funny sometimes but there's a bit in this episode where he just won't stop talking and it's either padding or they totally fell in love with the actor and decided to just let him go on and on. It's still preferable to the Potential Slayers! We get some more here. One is "Indigo." One is completely forgettable. One is Felicia Day but she gets like two lines. And one has a terrible Southern accent. It turns out the Southern one is really dead and the First has been impresonating her and this would have been good except the actress is still terrible. And all she does is taunt them a bit and disappear. Giles and Anya go and see a spooky eye thing and find out the reason why the First is doing stuff(?) is because of Buffy being resurrected and that unbalanced the scales or something. They don't tell anyone about this. It's never mentioned again. So that's another waste of time! Buffy makes a speech, kills the Ubervamp by twisting its head off (so its chest is extra strong but not its neck?) then makes another speech. Spike is still being tortured because...fuck knows. Buffy saves him at the end. This episode is bad.

Potential - This episode starts with another Buffy speech, which isn't promising, but the episode is a bit better because Dawn gets stuff to do. She feels a bit left out with the Potentials around and then she finds out she's a potential herself and goes to fight a vamp with a girl with a long face but then it turns out she isn't the potential, long face is. This plotline is okay. Buffy takes the Potentials out to a demond bar (Clem makes a cameo stealing a bit from Beatlejuice) then locks them in a tomb to fight a vampire (after making another speech.) This isn't as good as the Potentials suck, other than Felicia Day as Vi who can actually deliver lines like a human being. So this episode is still a bit dreary and season 7-y but is generally okay until Xander's speech to Dawn which is actually great and the best thing to happen since CWDP. It's a rare bright moment in the boredom.

The Killer In Me - And this one is utter shit. Kenney has no character other than "lesbian." Willow turns into Warren but doesnt' really explore her guilt over killing him or anything. It's just bad! Amy is back and maybe they will redeem her after ruining her in season six? Nope, she's just an out and out villain now. And they just leave her at the end of the episode instead of going and bringing her to justice or something. She says "it's about power" at one point though! They should have made Amy Willow's new girlfriend instead of Kennedy. There's also a plot where the chip in Spike's head has stopped working and Buffy has to decide to have it removed or repaired. But we already know Spike can hurt people when under the First's control even with the chip working. So I'm not sure what the point of this is. Also wasn't the Initiatve filled in with concrete? And finally the whole "IS GILES THE FIRST" thing was just so they could do the "you think I'm evil if I DON'T touch girls?" punchline. So why did Giles avoid touching anything or eating for weeks? Oh, it's because season 7 is shit.

Also a general note about everything since CWDP: why does the picture look so dark? Was their budget reduced? Everything suddenly looks really cheap. It doesn't help that they spend 90% of their time in Buffy's house. The Magic Box set is gone and we don't see the school much, so it's like we're trapped in 'Older and Far Away' again.
 
First Date - Turns out Giles just caught the axe. Mystery solved I guess. This episode is written by Jane Espenson so it's actually got some quite funny lines and moments. It's not as dreary as some of the surrounding episodes. Giles draws funny flashcards like in Hush and scares new potential Cho-Ahn (she doesn't speak English! It's funny because we all speak English!) On the other hand it's also an episode where hardly anything happens. Xander meets a girl (guest star Ashanti who looks nice but isn't much of an actress so I'm assuming she's a singer or something) and she tries to kill him over the Seal. I don't know if this is the main plot but it's really thin. Buffy goes out on a date with Robin and he finally tells her his mom was a Slayer (which doesn't explain why he acted all dronelike when he buried Jonathan?) and it's nice enough but not very exciting. Andrew, Willow and Dawn try to tape record the First for some reason and that's a pretty stupid idea. The show hasn't established the rules of how the First actually works. Is it aware of everything? I guess not because it has to "notice" the tape recording. Why doesn't it just hang around the house all day in the shape of a dead person and annoy everyone? Anyway, the episode ends with Giles making a speech about how everything they've done this week was a silly waste of time (and there's a Captain Archer reference) and it's like he's saying everything we've just watched has been a silly waste of time.

Get It Done - Everything's all sombre again after the previously episode being lighter. This is kind of like two episodes stuck together. The first half sees one of the minor Potentials (played by "Lalaine"...seriously what's with the one name guest stars this season?) killing herself. Then Buffy makes a speech (her "everyone sucks but me" speech as Anya puts it) about how the dead potential was an idiot and everyone else is weak and this is the least likable Buffy as a character has ever been. Then the second episode starts as all the other Potentials disappear (except Kennedy, ugh) and Buffy goes into a shadow box thing Dawn reads ancient langauges now by the way. That's her thing. "Buffy won't choose me" has been long forgotten. I feel like the episode would have been better if we'd spent more time with Buffy exploring this other dimension but we go right to the rape metaphor with the first Watchers chaining Buffy up and trying to impregnate her with demon power. Buffy rejects their power and they give her a vision of a scene from popular movie series The Lord of The Rings but with Turok-Han instead of Urak-Hai. Also Spike puts his coat back on and kills a demon and smokes a cigarette and I am glad he's not insane in the basement or being totured but it all feels rather artificial. And D'Hoffryn's still trying to kill Anya because Anya's still a character in this show. This episode doesn't do much for me.

Storyteller - This is another Espenson one so again it has funny parts ("we are as Gods!") and it does tell a story about Andrew and it's (patly) presented like a documentary so at least it's a bit different. But...it's...not great? It's pretty good. Certanily easier to watch than everything since CWDP. It doesn't feel like as much of a slog. But it doesn't commit to the documentary thing. It doesn't commit to being told from Andrew's point of view (there's scenes without him in them.) The main story is about students acting weird at the school because of the Seal, but we don't see much of it and when a student explodes Buffy just makes a quip to Robin which feels a bit off. Buffy has to make Andrew cry GRIEF TEARS to close the seal and this scene is good and the end scene where Andrew talks honestly to the camera is the best acting Tom Lenk has done so far. And like I said there's funny bits and Andrew cuts away from one of Buffy's speeches and Xander and Anya have sex and she's really skinny and he's kind of fat so it looks awkward...this episode is decent. It's okay. It's good? Yeah, I'd say it's good. But not great! And it's a bit annoying that Andrew gets a centric episode while Xander, Willow, Anya, Giles AND ESPECIALLY DAWN aren't doing much of anything.

Lies My Parents Told Me - Finally an episode that feels important. It feels like when they were planning out the season they had this one planned because it has the Spike/Robin scene whereas all the other episodes in between it and CWDP has been kind of spinning their wheels. The scene where Giles (who has been gone since First Date and I know he's just a guest star now but that makes me sad) and Buffy explain Spike's chip/soul/trigger is funny. The flashbacks to Spike and his mum are good (though Spike's a bit TOO NICE maybe considering he's a vampire?) and the Robin/Nikki stuff is effective. Spike hasn't been "proper Spike" for a while but the fight scene with Robin is good. It does make sense that Giles would want to get rid of him, I guess, but...I still find the Buffy/Giles stuff annoying. It's like they always have to have Buffy fall out with her friends as we approach the end of the season and it either feels a bit forced her or I just don't want to see it. But yeah this is a good episode.
 
Players - Remember in season three when I used to find it kind of annoying when lighthearted standalones interrupted the story arc? It's actually a relief here because the arc episodes have been so unrelenting. It's refreshing to see Gunn and Gwen go off on a fun adventure where they fight ninjas and Gunn wears a suit. And it actually has very good character stuff for Gunn, the best he's been all season. And he and Gwen work better together than Gwen and Angel and it's a shame we didn't see any follow-up to this in season 5. I'm sure the internet thought they were gong to be in a spin-off together at the time. The other plot sees Cordy now acting blatantly evil in front of everyone so it makes you wonder how she managed to fool them for so long. The way they fool her with Lorne doing the fake ritual is good. It's about time for Evil Cordy to end...

Inside Out - Connor saves Cordy, of course. He's been annoying with his dumbness lately. The stuff with him and Cordy and sacrificing the innocent girl is good but would have been better if Cordy and Connor were, well, acted better. Darla's ghost appears and was she really sent by the Powers OR WAS IT THE FIRST EVIL TRYING TO STOP JASMINE. Given that the First Evil is really pretty shit I'm going to go with it being the Powers. It turns out Skip was a bad guy all along and it's kind of a shame because I liked Skip but having him deliver all the exposition about Jasmine's plan makes it more bearable. There's the controversial bit where he claims that EVERYTHING that happened was part of Jasmine's plan, even stuff like Gunn's sister dying and Fred going to Pylea which didn't actually have anything to do with Jasmine being born. WHAT DOES EVERYONE THINK ABOUT THIS SCENE? I can buy that all the big stuff was manipulated by Jasmine, stuff that Skip was involved in and even going back 'Amends' in Buffy that could have been Jasmine who caused the snowstorm (and Jasmine could have been the one who rescured Angel from the Hell Dimension rather than The First. Fuck The Fist.) But everything? Maybe Skip's just lying to freak them out. The episode has Gunn suggest that he isn't buying it either.

Shiny Happy People - Cordy's in a coma and Jasmine's brainwashed everyone. I like that Jasmine explains Connor was born because of Angel winning a life back in season two when Darla was dying. The episode is pretty good but gets a lot better once Fred fins out the truth. I like that Jasmine with the maggot face is similar to the villain back in the season one finale. You could fanwank that he was a similar being to Jasmine and he came to Earth without doing all the stuff Jasmine did and that's why he looked maggot-faced all the time.

The Magic Bullet - This episode is great. Amy Acker is great as Fred. She hasn't had much to do lately (althought it hasn't been as bad as Xander/Anya/Dawn over on Buffy) and that makes it more satisfying that she carries the whole episode. I like the paranoid conspiracy guy. And the midget demon. and Angel and Connor singing "Mandy" but it's "Jasmine". And everything about this episode. The Jasmine stuff starts getting really creepy as she can now speak through other people. Fred uses her CLEVER BRAIN to free Angel from her control and they eventually save the others. I like how everyone's angry at first when they realise Jasmine isn't really what they thought. It's a metaphor for becoming an Atheist!

Sacrifice - This one...eh, not as good. Too much time in the sewers with some new minor characters. I like that there's been people hiding down there since the sun was blocked, but they're not particularly interesting. And Angel being all harsh now feels a bit forced, like they needed an arc for him to fill up time. I do like the stuff with the demon unable to kill the vampire and cutting it up as it keeps talking. That's nice and gross. And the kid being possessed by Jasmine is genuinely creepy. It's all very convenient that they happen to end up the same sewere where a demon who knows secrets about Jasmine is living however...

Peace Out - The Jasmine arc ends and...it's a pretty good end. Not one of the best finales (I know it's not really the season finale) but it's good and satisfying. Really the most surprising thing here is that Connor gets all the best scenes. His character has been annoying but this episode does a good job of explaining how lost he is and how he just wants to believe in anything. Vincent K does his best acting yet when he starts having doubts about Jasmine. I know originally Cordy was going to wake up (which is why she moved in The Magic Bullet) and kill Jasmine but it works well with a depressed Connor punching through her skull. Lilah shows up ALIVE at the end!?
 
Home - It's probably best not to think about how there's a new, restaffed, Wolfram and Hart (I guess it's the same building as before but repaired) up and running already. I mean Lilah ("It's a lie." "It's a Lie-lah.") arrived to make the offer the second Jasmine died (or was it even before she died?) so they must have had a lot of confidence that Angel was going to win to have this all ready for him. ANYWAY, the episode is good. The Wesley/Lilah stuff is sad. Gunn sees a panther and it's cool. Fred is impressed by science stuff and Knox appears for the first time. There's a cameo by coma Cordy and it's quite comical (and maybe a bit mean) how they've had Charisma just lying down for the last five episodes. And Angel knows that Connor is fucked up beyond all repair so makes a special deal with Lilah. The season started with Angel dreaming of a meal he couldn't be a part of. It ends with Angel watching Connor have a family meal with his new family. IT'S FITTING.
 
Dirty Girls - Faith is back! And...her voice sounds weird. From smoking a lot. Did she sound like this in Angel? I never noticed. Caleb appears for the first time. He's a pretty good villain. I find it hard to understand what Nathan Fillion is saying sometimes though. It's a good idea actually giving the First an ally it can talk to. They should have done it earlier. There's the part where Andrew thinks Faith killed a Vulcan and yeah it is funny but was Andrew always this dumb? Xander makes a speech about Buffy that makes Andrew cry and it's a nice moment. Xander also has a wank over some Potentials at the start then loses an eye at the end. That's probably on purpose. Molly with the terrible accent dies so that's good. This episode is pretty good.

Empty Places - This episode starts with loads of people leaving Sunndales because "things have gotten bad." Okay I have so many problems with this scene. It's really fucking lazy for one thing. I know the reason why they have to show people leaving Sunnydale (find out in Chosen!) but there's been no indication at all that "things have gotten bad" in Sunnydale up until now, other than some kids going crazy in Storyteller. And that was cured by Andrew crying on the seal. I complained about the lack of scenes of LA with the sun blocked in Angel season 4, but at least we got some. We get no sense of Sunnydale as a place outside of Buffy's house, a few rooms in the school, and that one street they always show. And then later in the episode they go to The Bronze and it's full of people! What! (I'll accept Nerf Herder being there as a sign of the apocalypse.) Yeah we see some cops being jerks but Sunnydale cops have always been jerks. We should have had episodes where we saw crazy stuff happening in Sunnydale. That would have been fun. Anyway, the episode ends with the infamous scene of Buffy being kicked out her own house. I mean I agree that Buffy was a pretty bad leader who made too many speeches so they were right to tell her, but why did they actually have to kick her out of the house (and into a Sunnydale where "things have gotten bad")? It's just not a good scene. It's not written well. I don't like it. Also SMG had a sore throat or something. This episode is bad.

Touched - This episode starts a few seconds after the previous episode, yet everyone's hair is different and Xander is fatter and suddenly Vi's there. This is the "they all have sex before the big fight" episode. Well, they don't all have sex. The Buffy/Spike stuff is quite good. The Willow/Kennedy stuff is not. The First appears at the Mayor to Faith...and it's a surprsingly flat scene. I loved their stuff in season three but they didn't really recapture the old magic here. Then Faith and Wood have sex and that's okay. There's a SCARY POWER CUT because they can't afford to show demonds roaming the streets or anything that would really show how bad Sunnydale is to live in now (yes I'm still bitter over that!) The best part is probably when the First is saying it wants to feel something (a girl's neck snapping) to Caleb. It's one of the better First moments in the season. Then the episdoe ends with another lame First moment as its big plan to kill Faith and the Potential is...a bomb. They gives them ten seconds to run away. This episode is okay on the whole.

End Of Days - I usually always point out when Jane Espenson has a writing credit because her episodes are usually funnier and she co-wrote this and the episode is funnier and in many ways the strongest episode of the four I watched today. Buffy saves the Potentials by killing three ubervamps with her scythe and it's good to see Buffy do something cool. Anya has had fuck all to do since Selfless but she gets a nice scene with Andrew here (it's also one of his better scenes) and they have a wheelchair fight. Buffy and Faith have a pretty good scene. The problem with this episode (well one of the problems) is that it just kind of hand waves away the whole "Buffy being kicked out of her house" thing. The leadership debate is settled by Faith being a worse leader than Buffy and then everyone's fine again. It makes me wonder what the point was of kicking Buffy out other than to drag out the season a bit more. There's also a bit where the First says to Caleb "when my army conquers the world I'll be able to enter the heart of all humans" which seems like an attempt to give The First some kind of motivation at the last minute. And then there's the part with the Guardian Womaa and The Scythe and let's just be frank THIS IS A LOAD OF SHITE. It dosn't help that the Angel episode 'Awakening' was pretty brutal in making fun of the "mystical weapon just happens to be in hero's home town" thing. And just having this woman show up in the second last episode and say "oh I was here all along you just didn't see us before lol" is, like a lot of things in season seven, really lazy. So yeah this episode is good but with SERIOUS RESERVATIONS.
 
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