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What would you do if you were made out of bread?

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
I'd toast myself, to make my body more robust.
 
Fondu.
 
BATHE IN BUTTER.
 
Hunt this fucker down and kill it.

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I wouls transform into an army of killer croutons.
 
I agree on the toast and croutons because they don't mold and they last forever! If I were bread I would be gluten free. Just kidding. If I were bread I would be the kind that gets broken on Sunday and handed out with the wine, maybe not. If I were bread I would want to be with Peaunut Butter and Jelly all the time or honey and butter or cinamon and sugar. I would never want to be alone. I would want to be so many great sandwiches, but I would be annoyed when I get soggy and just sit there, so toast is the way.
If I were bread I would want to be in a brown paper bag, not on the shelf in a plastic sack. In fact I want to come right from the oven to your mouth. Wow, that sounds sleezy. But if I were bread that is how it would be.
 
Bread is sleazy by nature. I've never met a slice of bread that wasn't a demented maniacal pervert.
 
What if you were made of brown bread and could finally understand what bread racism felt like?
 
Terrorize the gluten free community.
 
If I were made of bread, I hope someone would turn me into pudding.
 
I hope I would rise to the occasion.
 
The correct answer was "die almost instantly."
 
My hope would be to provide a soft landing for a nice slab of meat LOLOLOMGBBQWFSADFsdf
 
I never knew bread could sound so sexy.
 
I would make myself into soldiers and take over the world.
 
PC BBC BAN TOAST SOLDIERS FOR FEAR OF ANTI-ISLAM BACKLSASH.
 
BACKLSASH sounds so much better. Like a sassy dutch person. Hi, I'm Johan Backlsash and I am into minimal techno and dub reggae!
 
Probably who the BBC want presenting all their shows AS LONG AS HE'S ALSO BLACK, A WOMAN, TRANS, AND HAS NO LEGS!!
 
We are giving Johan Backlsash quite a back story now. I think he writes a blog about smoothies and has a vegetable plot made out of old tyres. He hates Kale though, and has fallen out with his friend Hans Dottlecom about it.
 
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