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Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

I'm hearing a noise like my dog digging on the carpet in the back room. Oh, my dog digs on the carpet in the back room. To keep her from destroying it I've put down some remnants in her preferred spots. So there's that. Anyway, I'm hearing a noise like my dog digging on the carpet in the back room. It keeps going on so I decide I'd better get up and figure out why she's being crazy and almost run over my cat, who is under my chair. The noise I was hearing is my cat, licking the briefcase that is tucked next to my desk.

This, in part, is why I'm burnt out and pissed off all the time and I drink.
 
I think I understand Eastern European armies "goose-stepping" and wearing tall boots without laces. We got around 10" of snow on Sunday and Monday. Halfway through we got .2" of freezing rain. This created a 2" thick skin of almost that Styrofoam sheathing insulation (only frozen water) say, 4-5" above the ground. It was strong enough for my 70# dog to walk on top of--but not me. I'd take a step and it would hold say, 3/4 of my weight, and then it would break, causing me to drop a few inches. Walking on it was exhausting. Then I had a breakthrough (no pun intended): instead of walking normally if I drove down hard with the back of my heel, I could cut a hole in the crud. It still wasn't a great deal of fun but it was a lot easier than the other way. I've also been wearing my "Wellies" with my pants tucked into them instead of ankle-high lace-up leather and nylon boots. So there's my theory: Germans and Soviets don't goose-step around in tall boots solely because they think it looks cool, it is a very practical way to move in thick snow that has a frozen crust on it.
 
The actual scenario of Schroedinger's Cat is way more dramatic than it needs to be. It could just be an indoor/outdoor cat. When my cat was still fairly little he got out and was gone for 5 days. When he finally turned up again his claws were worn down to nubs. A week or two ago something literally tore him a new one. He was Out and suddenly The Dog just started to go nuts. I let her Out and she took off like a shot. Eventually they both turned up and The Cat had a couple tufts of hair that were in disarray. I later found punctures on his neck and the side of his belly as well as a laceration across one of his front legs. But mostly the area around his butt looked nasty. Clumped fur and mangy inflamed spots. Somehow I didn't put 2 & 2 together (mostly because I hadn't really found the other injuries yet) and thought he'd had diarrhea that was causing it. Turned out the matted fur was blood. He's been more cautious about being Out lately...until today.

Today he took off before Noon when I went to walk The Dog and was just *gone*. I saw some of his tracks in the snow and suspect he gets into the neighbors' shed to hunt mice or something, but he didn't turn up while I was shoveling snow. He didn't turn up after the afternoon dog walk. He didn't turn up when I'd shine a flashlight out the back door during every commercial break and call him. Finally, around 8:30pm The Dog wanted to go out--and, IIRC, the neighbor dog barked at something. So I held her collar while I opened the door and sure enough, The Cat was waiting at the door to come in (if she goes out while he's coming in, he gets excited and decides to stay out too). Let her out once he was in because she'll be out 5 minutes and will sit at the door and bark when she's ready to come back in.

But yeah. Once he's Out, he's simultaneously alive and dead and you don't know until he turns back up. No box or radiation required. I'm glad I didn't have kids. As much as a 2 year old cat worries me can you imagine what small humans would be like?
 
Volpone said:
I'm hearing a noise like my dog digging on the carpet in the back room. Oh, my dog digs on the carpet in the back room. To keep her from destroying it I've put down some remnants in her preferred spots. So there's that. Anyway, I'm hearing a noise like my dog digging on the carpet in the back room. It keeps going on so I decide I'd better get up and figure out why she's being crazy and almost run over my cat, who is under my chair. The noise I was hearing is my cat, licking the briefcase that is tucked next to my desk.

This, in part, is why I'm burnt out and pissed off all the time and I drink.
Click to expand...

I want to know what was on your briefcase.
 
Volpone said:
Also this (courtesy of IWasteSoMuchTime.com):
View attachment 953
Click to expand...

No.
I can't get through the first 3 without popping a gasket in my brain.

I call our Accounting help desk and get put on hold. I receive an email while I'm on hold with a "ticket #". That's great.

Then there are other entities I call where I get a "Tell us how we are doing" before the problem is even fucking solved.
 
Mirah said:
I want to know what was on your briefcase.
Click to expand...
It's possible I spilled milk on it because I eat my breakfast cereal at my desk. But most likely cats are just weird destructive little gremlins. On closer examination he appears to have been chewing on the handle too.
 
StoryTV is showing a documentary about a violent 1979 clash between Communists and the KKK and it's really hard to decide who to root for.
 
Volpone said:
StoryTV is showing a documentary about a violent 1979 clash between Communists and the KKK and it's really hard to decide who to root for.
Click to expand...
I'd root for the KKK. They taught me how to make cross shaped controlled fires and how to tie rope knots. All the Commies did was make me feel ashamed and guilty about my Capitalist pig dog money spending habits.
 
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