Where is the Random Thread of Randomness stuff that doesn't belong in other threads thread?

[Volpone]

I'm increasingly like one of them people in a movie who was frozen and then thawed out decades/centuries later (or my Dad): "It would be nice to go out to eat for a change, let's see if that place I've been wanting to check out has an online menu...JESUS CHRIST! $21 for a *HAMBURGER*!?"

Saturday afternoon is grocery shopping. I've had some success with my weight loss battle and was considering adding turkey sammiches to my lunch options. I switched to largely salads because ham & cheese was contributing to my waistline but I'm thinking I could get away with white meat turkey. And they make these loafs of frozen turkey that are fairly affordable (the price difference between ham and precooked turkey is obscene). So of course the supermarket I shop at didn't have any. At what point did American supermarkets become like the Soviet Union? How is it that it's just like "Oops, we don't have any turkey this week"?

Anyhow, I needed a nice scratch made dish too and decided with this extended cold snap, it was time for a big pot of chili.

The cheapest cut of red meat was $10 a pound. So yeah, no chili.

I guess that fucking $21 burger doesn't sound so obscene now. :/

 

[Volpone]

Some part of me is curious what it would be like to hit someone with a machete as hard as you can, but the other part of me knows how much I'd instantly regret it for the rest of my life.

(Once I did have a good chance to see what a burst from a .50 cal Browning M2 will do to an unarmored human at close range and I'm glad that ended differently. Dude in Iraq decided it would be a good idea to steal a crate of MREs out of a humvee at a freeway on-ramp. Happily he decided to drop the box when the roof gunner swung the turret around and racked the bolt.)

 

[Volpone]

For some reason my cat likes to lay on my feet at night. After I've been in bed for a bit*, he comes in and proceeds to make "biscuits"--only I think he's using all four feet--for a bit before laying across my feet at the ankles.

*I wake up for it because my dog also sleeps on the bed and she makes menacing "I KILL YOU" growl noises when he contemplates climbing onto the bed and wakes me up (the noises are apparently a bluff and after around 4 years I've stopped being alarmed by them).

 

[Volpone]

The marketing people who came up with the name "clam juice" should be shot. I'm puttin' canned clams into the next batch of instant ramen I make and this time I'm adding the juice instead of straining it off. The idea of clams is a little nasty but it was the tastiest seafood I've added to ramen.