CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
#29.21 - Elon Musk is found dead, his arms and legs eaten by vultures and a hand-sized hole in his back. The police say the death is not suspicious at all and Newman is great. Newman appears on tv again and says he will carry on Elon's legacy by making Twitter shitter than ever and by going to the fuckng moon. NASA are interviewed on the tv and say the law says if they can build a rocket and get to the moon first then Newman won't be able to land there because of moon rules. But NASA have run out of money after wasting billions on a reality show as seen in the hit sitcom 'Cat Cleaners'. Jerry says if only there was some way to give NASA enough money to build a moon rocket they could stop Newman. Kramer says he and Jerry could use the Kramer Device to hack every lottery in the land and transfer the prize money to NASA. George asks if they can send some of the money to him and Elaine to hire a lawyer to get their kids back from Newman, but Kramer says they can't afford to waste any of it. Elaine says that's fine Newman can keept he brats. Jerry and Kramer touch the Kramer device together and this somehow makes loads of money appear in their joint bank account and they transfer it to NASA. Jerry says they have to go to Cape Canaveral in Florida to make sure the rocket NASA build has ANTI-NEWMAN defense systems built in. George and Elaine shrug and say they'll come too as the whole subplot with their kids isn't really going anywhere right now. At SpaceX, Newman takes over and his Elon's remains stuffed and set up in the lobby for all to see. He tells the engineers that the rocket only has to get to the moon and doesn't even need to be able to fly back, because he'll be able to power the return flight with the Golden Kramer Device. The head engineer asks him what the fuck is he talking about. Newman injects nano bots into his brain like a Borg using sickening Newman tendrils. The engineer says he understands now and will commit suicide after the rocket is built to protect Newman's secrets. Newman smiles. George and Elaines kids are playing with ray guns in the background. At NASA, the head of NASA puts Jerry in charge of the moon rocket project, saying that Jerry can motivate the engineers with laughter. Jerry admits that his stand-up has slid a little as he's been busy creatingthe universe and then escaping a dystopian future timeline, but he'll give it his best shot. Elaine says she has her own way of motivating them and sets up a big bed with a counter above that shows the number of the man or woman who will pleasure her next. A huge line forms of men and women excitedly looking down at their tickets. George hands out the tickets. He asks Elaine to please not kill any of them. Elaine says he better press the orgasm button every time they climax then to keep her happy. Kramer disappears into the basement of NASA. Weeks pass. At SpaceX, Newman is now riding a huge dragon-like creature he had made for him, holding a huge whip which he uses to whip the employees and make them work harder. At NASA, work is progressing wel. Jerry's stand-up routine is getting better. "What's THE DEAL with the moon anyway? What is it orbiting the Earth? Is it STALKING us? Why haven't we asked it what it's doing! I hate the moon!" Kramer still hasn't been seen and there is a mysterious power drain coming from the basement. SpaceX build a golden rocket for Newman, but NASA have their own rocket ready. Both are set to take off on the same day. Jerry proudly watches the laucn as Elaine smokes a big cigar in bed, having been pleasured by everyone person in the whole town. George asks if she is satisfied and she burns him with the cigar. The two rockets take off. Suddenly, the NASA rocket explodes. All 17 people on board as killed and two hundred more on the ground. Jerry just barely escapes with his life. He asks what the heck happened. The head of NASA says the power suddenly cut out and he'd traced the problem to the basement. Jerry goes downstairs and finds Kramer working on a huge computer. Kramer looks excited to see him. He says NASA have a hugely advanced A.I. system and they used to model rocket take-offs...and Kramer has been using it himself all this time. Jerry says Kramer just killed 217 people and let Newman win! Kramer says that doesn't matter right now...becuase his A.I. Spider-Man movie is finally ready. He can turn the entire world gay with it. Jerry walks out in disgust. Newman's rocket lands on the moon. He walks out of it and looks around, satisfied with what he sees. He punches his fist right through the surface of the moon and reaches inside. He pulls out the Golden Kramer Device, the primordial Kramer Device from which all others are derived. He smiles and laughs evily. "Has Kramer made the gay Spider-Man movie?" he asks into a headset. "Yes," replies the SpaceX head eingineer, who then blows his own brains out with a guy. "Everything is going according to plan!" says Newman.