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DREAM THREAD Part Pi.Pi!

I was hiding from some bad guys inside a bouncy castle, there was a small dog in with me, possibly a chiwawa. It kept biting my back aways in the same place, I could feel real pain, then just when I thought it couldn't get worst I started to smell dog shit, and I realised it was shitting into the hole in my back.
 
OK. This reminded me of something from early last night. Not really a dream, per se, but...shit, and I can't even remember it, but I was definitely having difficulty breathing and was possibly tangled up/trapped in something.
 
This was super complicated, and I fear I have forgotten half of it, but there was a future court case and I was defending a fish man, not sure what the crime was, but in pursuit of evidence I suddenly found I was Columbo chasing mole rats from fall out, and finding some jet, which proved something or other, trying to get back to the case, the prosecution started closing giant shutters so I had to go in through the roof.

I showed my evidence and the trail was dismissed, but then the fish man turned out to be a robot, and the prosecution turned out to be the real fish man who was trying to frame himself so he could live underwater and work for the daleks.
 
Interesting one last night. Set on the farm where I grew up. There was some kind of gun show and/or change to gun laws so everyone was showing their guns. As they were looking at mine I realized the scope was loose and hoped they wouldn't notice it. They didn't, so I discreetly tightened it down when I got it back. Then I noticed a couple guys acting fishy out by the mailbox. They were getting into firing positions pointed at our crowd so I got down and sighted in on them. (Here's where it gets interesting solely because guns rarely work for me in dreams): Of course as soon as I got in position I realized something was partially blocking my view on them, but since they were about to open fire any second, I decided to just pop off 4-5 shots in their direction to bluff them and hope they surrendered. They did--and I actually wounded one of them.

Then I was out, walking around in the back field (it's a different day or something) and all the gunfire going on because of the new law has spooked an elk who is in the field between me and the farm. I'm trying to get past him without spooking him but eventually he charges me. There's no pain but I'm pinned immobile and there's like, a voiceover that I have at least one 5" laceration. I woke up enough to decide I didn't like that story and try to change the way the dream was going but instead I moved into some other dream that I don't remember.
 
This is maybe something for my blog thread, but it is about a dream(?) so I'll put it here: You know the dreams you have that are plausible enough that you think they're real? I'm pretty sure I never actually looked for porn on my aunt's computer; that I only dreamed it.

Sometime around the late 1990s, my favorite Aunt finally got a computer. The neighborhood association had an incredibly obsolete PC they were disposing of and they gave it to her (or sold it to her for a nominal $10 or something). I want to say it was a 486 running Windows 3.1 but I feel like it at least had Windows 95 on it. It definitely only had, like, the 16 color or 256 color or whatever display. I don't know if that was a function of the OS or the monitor but the picture was very crude, even by those standards. The machine was so old it didn't even have a modem. Did it have a sound card? I forget. At any rate, we went down to Staples or Circuit City or somewhere and got a modem that came with software to subscribe to Earthlink, I installed it, we probably downloaded Firefox, and I taught her how to surf the Web. It was interesting because all the things we take for granted like understanding the scroll bars and how to interact with windows were totally alien to her and had to be learned. I feel happy just thinking about it.

Anyway, I don't know why, but as I was getting ready for bed tonight, it popped into my head that I would get on her computer when I was visiting and look at porn (it was upstairs, near the guest bedroom) and I felt guilty about it--especially the thought that the browser history probably implicated me to her since you didn't really have multiple accounts on those really old operating systems. But the more I got to thinking about it, the more I think I must've just dreamed that. Was I really horny enough in my mid/late-20s that I hogged the phone line when visiting my favorite Aunt to look up porn on a 256 color display with a dial up modem? It seems more likely that I dreamed this as some kind of psychological thing.

I guess the only way I can be sure is if there's a Heaven and I get there and my Aunt says "Yes, you looked up porn on my computer whenever you would visit."
 
OK. Very involved one last night. I'm on some kind of mass transit that was modeled on Portland Oregon's light rail, only it keeps experiencing power drains that affect navigation and cause it to shut down. Whenever it shuts down, we're inevitably attacked by people out on the streets. People have tried using their phones and other devices to keep the train running but it never lasts long enough. At one point someone tries using, like, a level for the navigation. Since it's just a bubble in colored water there's no way it will lose power but it doesn't really work and the train stops again. The last time is at, like, a football field and we're attacked by a combination of Amish-looking people and pee-wee football players and spectators. Some of them have sort of spades, only with bent heads like hoes and they're chopping into us with them. I get my hands on one and lay into a little girl with pigtails in a football uniform. At the last second I don't have the heart to kill her so I hit her with the back of the shovel to stop her from attacking someone. She tells me I should just kill her because she'll be killed for failing anyway. I ask by whom and she says he's right behind us. There's no one there, only like, a big fiberglass statue of the local football team's mascot but I sense a presence so I try to talk to it. At first there's only some kind of static electronic sidetone but eventually it must have tuned to my frequency or whatever because I talked to it. Then I realized there was a speaker in the wall under the statue's feet so I layed into it with my spade thing and as I'm chopping it open I'm finding other compartments of wiring so I smash all of those too. I don't know if it stopped the attacks or anything because that's when I woke up.
 
I had a huge mansion, like millionaire drug dealer mansion, but the most interesting thing in there was a talking baby
 
Oh! I'm glad this got bumped. Because I probably would've forgot last night. Textbook insomnia dreams--although I suspect they did have a message.

Woke up at 3:50. Probably took over an hour to get back to sleep. And when I did I dreamed that I couldn't sleep. Since I couldn't sleep I got up to wander back to the bathroom. I've got guests visiting Friday (IRL) and for some reason the sofa-bed in the back bedroom was all made up as a bed--even though I hadn't done it. I wondered if they'd changed plans and got in early but then it didn't make any sense that they'd gotten into the house. (I guess IRL I told them where the spare key is hidden, but that was years ago and it seems unlikely that they'd have remembered.) So I peek out the side window and there's a car in the driveway, but it's not their car, it's maybe a car I've seen around the area. I don't know the transition, I may have woke up enough to realize I was insomnia dreaming, but pretty soon there's banging on the back of the house. By the time I get there, whoever was causing it seems to have left, but there's noticeable damage around the door area. Then I wake up enough to realize THAT was a dream and decide to go check some drywall I repaired that winds up being in my childhood bedroom and I see that it is falling apart and is still soft for some reason. More noise at the back door. This time damage to the back door and I can hear people there, getting ready to knock it down. I realize none of my guns are conveniently accessible but for some reason this big "Arkansas toothpick" I've had for decades is within reach. The guy getting ready to try to force the door is actually a Klingon--possibly Christopher Lloyd from ST III--so I draw the knife and hold it up to the window right about where his throat is (yes, the back door that they're trying to break down in the dream has a big window). He looks at it a bit and at that point my subconscious must've run out of ideas for that dream. I think I had a few other little ones, but I can't remember them anymore.
 
OK. Super mundane. I'm trimming my neck hair. There's some girl there. I've reached an age where I have a lot more hair on my back than I'd like. For whatever reason I can't actually come out and ask her, but I make a big production out of trimming my neck hair and even clippering some of the more egregious and accessible spots on my shoulders in hopes that she'll offer to shave my back.
 
Volpone said:
OK. Super mundane. I'm trimming my neck hair. There's some girl there. I've reached an age where I have a lot more hair on my back than I'd like. For whatever reason I can't actually come out and ask her, but I make a big production out of trimming my neck hair and even clippering some of the more egregious and accessible spots on my shoulders in hopes that she'll offer to shave my back.
Click to expand...
I'm glad when I get my haircut they ask about trimming my bushy eyebrows. I would have never asked that on my own.
 
Oh. Had a pair where one probably provided the material for the next. Both fairly common themes for recent dreams: First was some sort of zombie apocalypse dream. Civil unrest and violence. Dangerous to travel. Especially in cities. But a lot of us had people we knew in the city and the only way they'd let you in is if you became a kind of Uber driver, so some of us signed up but they'd only send us on trips in the suburbs. This wasn't much less dangerous than going into the city and didn't accomplish the goal we had. So I realized we had to break into the National Guard Armory and get an armored personnel carrier and just go in.

Then I'm in the military and it's the end of an exercise/operation so I need to get my stuff packed up to go home. But I've got a shit-ton of stuff and no time. There's all kinds of meetings and events leading to going home so I'm packing whenever I get a chance. Eventually I just skip the last thing. It looks like I might be able to get everything to fit but next thing I know, everyone has piled into the Humvee my stuff is in so there isn't room to move stuff around. I'm standing outside the front passenger door, stuffing stuff into a bag/box as the truck starts backing out and leaving. I jog along as long as I can but eventually just have to jump in and hope there'll be time to finish packing when we get to wherever we're going (or that I at least got everything important packed).
 
I had an assortment of dreams again but the only one I remember, I have no explanation for: I was part of a group working on feeding the homeless. We were considering giving them potatoes. The idea was, you could just stick one in your pocket and it would keep pretty well until you stuck it in a microwave. The problem (apart from homeless people not having too many microwaves) was that, while the uncooked potato was very portable, you needed a fork and butter and salt and pepper and sour cream and a bunch of other stuff to make it practical--and none of that is very portable.
 
Apparently, changing out the sun visor on the van was more tiring than I realized and I slept like a baby--and had quite an interesting dream cycle in the morning. Some common themes but entertaining anyway:

It started out with me working in an office(?) Or at a house where I had a desk and computer set up. I'd been sleeping but had to go check on my dog. (This dream probably started because I get up around 4 to use the bathroom and my dog wants to go Out and doesn't want to come back In when I'm done, so I set a timer and if she's ready to come in after 15 minutes, she comes in. Otherwise if I don't hear her bark, she's going to spend the rest of the night Out. Last night I did hear her bark after she initially refused to come in.) Since it's been hot, I've been sleeping naked. When I got back a couple cute girls had decided they could use my desk since no one was sitting there so they saw me naked. At some point in the dream I kissed a girl on the mouth but I don't remember when. I think she was telling me how her dog and my dog were getting along very well.

At some point the dream transitioned to a really cool party. Work(?) was over so we headed over to a friend's apartment and hung out and BS'ed a lot about fun stuff. Eventually someone realized it was 8pm on a Monday night and everyone else had realized it was time to go about the same time so we all headed out. The setting was my old Portland Oregon neighborhood, around the time I first moved there. My brother was visiting and didn't want to go home just yet so I showed him around the town a bit (on foot). It was getting late (of course dream logic has it so you can leave a party at 8pm and walk around town and it is early afternoon(?) (I don't think we walked around all night.) At some point I got tired of walking so I got a unicycle. It wasn't a standard unicycle, it was kind of like one of those bicycles that fold up into a briefcase--like, a 3' tall PVC pipe with a T-shaped seat on top and a fairly small wheel. I don't know how hard it is to ride a unicycle but this one was very easy to ride. And if you were going a short distance you could just grab the "handles" on the seat and pedal it while standing behind the seat-post.

(This dream went on forever.) At some point we were most of the way to our destination (which was based on the house I lived in when I moved away). My brother could take the train from where we were but I think he was just going to walk. I realized I had to go back and get my car. I thought about taking the train but I'm cheap and I had my unicycle so I decided to just pedal back. At one point I cut through a building and some people were following me. Then I got turned around briefly when I came out the other side before I saw the bridge across the river. Only it was a railway bridge. I had to get around a kind of "tug trolley" (It looked like a commuter train car but it was just the cab with no passenger space) and was about to make my way to a different bridge when I saw what looked like a sidewalk on the other side of the bridge I was at. When I got there I realized it wasn't a sidewalk and a worker gave me directions to a bridge I could get across. That's about when I woke up.
 
Geez, last night was wild. I'll get as much of it as I can remember:

Started off with the fairly basic in a hotel for a conference or event (military training aspects came in later). Needed to take a shower but it was in a big communal gym locker room shower that was at the bottom of a concrete stairwell with fire doors. For some reason I took off my clothes in the stairwell(?). I was getting ready to shower and I realized I'd forgot my clothes and when I went back to get them, they weren't there. I'm trying to look all over for them without shocking or offending anyone. Pretty soon I realize that I'm wearing my shirt and/or jacket and it's only my pants and shoes that are missing. I think I see my black jungle boots in a big pile of military gear and I'm trying to get a closer look when one of the troops they belong to comes over to ask me what I'm up to. I explain and he wishes me luck but politely tells me to look somewhere else and I wind up finding them on a kind of rack near the shower. Turns out I wasn't wearing my boots after all, but my Chuck Taylors and some faded black jeans. Only both my pairs of Chucks seem to be there. On closer inspection the white pair and another canvas pair of shoes are not mine, so I put them back in the rack. Only now I've lost my clothes again. Luckily I found them back fairly quickly this time.

While all this was happening I realized I hadn't checked in yet so I stop by the front desk and my dog is there. I realize I must have forgot her at one of the conferences. The concierge tells me she was being real good until some kids tried to feed her chewing gum. Then he realized I was chewing gum and wouldn't give her back until I surrendered it (I never chew gum).

I'm not sure where this segment fit in but since it had a military aspect I think it went somewhere around here: We're all stuck (in the hotel?) because of a big storm. The storm seems a dud so I ask why we can't go out and do something and I'm told it is because a lot of people took leave and got their plans ruined by high winds so now everyone else has to stay in. Somehow I get away and get a ride with a dumb guy I was friends with in school (elementary-high). He's driving like, an early 1980s sedan and when we get back he insists on parking at the very edge of the parking lot, but he loses control and it slides into the ditch at slow speed and rolls. He wants to try to get it out of the ditch and back on its wheels and I'm thinking this is stupid but have to help since he gave me a ride. It turns out to be a lot easier than I thought. The snow is hard packed and there's a low spot in the ditch so we're able to push it out by ourselves and flip it over as it's coming out of the ditch. It's a little dented up on one side but still drivable.

Then I'm in the basement of the student center where I got my undergrad with Arnold Schwarzennegar (who got his degree there years before me--that's another story). I go to buy a beer (there was a snack bar, a game room, and a beer bar in the main space and then assorted offices in surrounding corridors--this building has long since been torn down and replaced) and this snooty manager points out he has to approve anyone. Arnold gives me this kind of "some people" eye roll and when I come over I say I should've just said I was with him and he has a chuckle over that. Later we're getting ready to leave and Arnold really wants to get away but I really have to pee so I head back in. The manager gives me more grief. And by the time I'm back to the car Arnold's ex has showed up and they have a big fight (that's why he wanted to leave).

I'm pretty sure there was other stuff, but that's all I remember.
 
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