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Scarecrow or Boobs and Butt?

Donovan said:
See above topic, "Man Prime Directive." I.I.D.T.W.I.G.M.L, pronounced "idiot wig-a-mole." I ain't sweating until you do. I've been married, I already put in a lifetime of pay-it-forward pro bono work. Now it's strictly gash and carry...
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Did you just offer to make me sweat?
 
Laker_Girl said:
Fat just isn't healthy but then neither is anorexic.

What ladies must always remember when comtemplating ralfing up tonight's delicious dish is that men like meat dogs like bones but even a dog will take meat over a bone anyday.

W00t!
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This has to be one of the greatest comments I have read in all the time I've been a member of this board. I'm gonna pass this one on to just about every woman I know

Thank You Laker Girl... seriously! 8)
 
AC/DC said:
Gonna tell you a story bout a woman I know. When it comes to lovin, oh, she steals the show. She ain't exactly pretty. She aint's exactly small. Fourt'two thirt'nine fiftysix, you could say she's got it ALL!
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I love that song.
 
eloisel said:
Women were designed to have meat on their bones. Guys who have a thing for breastless, buttless women are in homosexual denial.
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Or closeted necrophiliacs. I can't see the appeal of fucking a woman that thin. Would a man be afraid she'd break? That would put a damper on things.
 
My preference for a woman's body is somewhere between a size 8 and 14. It's more about shape than size for me, but a nice round ghetto booty will pretty much seal the deal. Of course, it's all a moot point unless she has a pretty face and is interesting and sweet.

as for the other topic....a world without men? FUCK NO! That would be horrible. :(
 
Sir Mix a Lot said it best.


"Baby Got Back"

[Intro]
Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
But, y'know, who understands those rap guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
I mean, her butt, is just so big. *scoff*
I can't believe it's just so round, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... black!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me feel so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sistas, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Til the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna role in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".

[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sista, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!

(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]
 
Laker_Girl said:
Having men stand up to me isn't an issue, I don't talk down to men. ;)
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You also shouldn't talk with your mouth full, or I'll slap you in the forehead with it and leave a dent.
 
The Dork Lord said:
When they show those weight loss comercials, I almost ALWAYS like the "before" pic more than the "after".

ALMOST always.
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Big girls need loving too. Go boyee.
 
eloisel said:
Did you just offer to make me sweat?
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Are you hawt?

Never mind, I'll bring beer.

Are you nearby?

Never mind, I got a car.

See how guys can rationalize just about anything? What woman would agree to nameless, faceless, sight-unseen sex just for the hell of it? That takes balls.

Currently, I am pursuing my hobby of sampling the naughty-bits of every woman on the planet and devoting fifteen minutes of undivided attention to each and every female attached to aforementioned naughty-bits. There are roughly two billion of you so that's all I can spare, but for that quarter hour I am totally and faithfully yours.

I have Eloisel pencilled in for July 12th, 2022 between 4:30 est and 4:45. Please bring gatorade. If you are secretly a man, please bring Listerine as well.

I also have Laker_Girl on the stand-by list for cancellations, because there isn't actually a set day for hell to freeze over and I don't want her to be too anxious in the meantime.
 
Donovan said:
I also have Laker_Girl on the stand-by list for cancellations, because there isn't actually a set day for hell to freeze over and I don't want her to be too anxious in the meantime.
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*pukes*

The day you're lucky enough to bed me is the day the very last thing even remotely resembling a human dies off the face of this earth and the only thing left is you, me, and more alcohol and meth than even Keith Richards could consume in a lifetime. And yet I still I think I'd rather just set myself on fire...God, I probably just turned you on. :roll:
 
Well, which topic do I tackle first?
First off, Laker_Girl, I hate that you said this:
Laker_Girl said:
I too hate women drivers, fortunately I have three older brothers and wouldn't be caught dead driving like a woman.
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It is as if you are ashamed at having a vagina, being a woman and thinking that woman are capable of being competent. This is shameful Laker_Girl. Further more, you think you sound "cool" by bashing these "woman" drivers and your "so-called friends" in front of these TK posters.
It is sad, because one day you may need these woman as your friends. I know they have failed you in the past, but please, please, find some good, real woman friends!

2nd eloisel
A woman after my own heart! While I have often dreamt of an Island filled with woman only, I still enjoy being fucked dirty by a man. Not only that, but I enjoy thier company as well. They are not sperm donors to me. Men and woman equally have different characteristics and talents that make them each beautiful creatures! I couldn't live without either of them!

So, in conclusion, L_G get some better woman friends. eloisel, get laid, and get laid good, by a man and a woman. You will never meet another human being who lives up to your expectations, get over it. Men will be men, but woman will be woman.
 
Laker_Girl said:
*pukes*

The day you're lucky enough to bed me is the day the very last thing even remotely resembling a human dies off the face of this earth and the only thing left is you, me, and more alcohol and meth than even Keith Richards could consume in a lifetime. And yet I still I think I'd rather just set myself on fire...God, I probably just turned you on. :roll:
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Mixing alcohol and meth will give you a heart attack. Learn your illegal drug combos, Belushi, before they have to taser your stupid ass back to life.

Also, with all that puking you might want to mix in some dramamine or I'll bump you down the list. I ain't having all that gross smell in my car, I'll rent a U-Haul and make you ride in the back.

PS please don't set yourself on fire. I've already got you mixed in with a bunch of female Iraqi bomb victims, and all that scar tissue at once would be a turn off. Just lobotomize yourself instead; no one will notice, your alleged beauty will still be there, and neither of us will be adversely affected by the change in your mental status.
 
Mirah said:
Well, which topic do I tackle first?
First off, Laker_Girl, I hate that you said this:


It is as if you are ashamed at having a vagina, being a woman and thinking that woman are capable of being competent. This is shameful Laker_Girl. Further more, you think you sound "cool" by bashing these "woman" drivers and your "so-called friends" in front of these TK posters.
It is sad, because one day you may need these woman as your friends. I know they have failed you in the past, but please, please, find some good, real woman friends!

2nd eloisel
A woman after my own heart! While I have often dreamt of an Island filled with woman only, I still enjoy being fucked dirty by a man. Not only that, but I enjoy thier company as well. They are not sperm donors to me. Men and woman equally have different characteristics and talents that make them each beautiful creatures! I couldn't live without either of them!

So, in conclusion, L_G get some better woman friends. eloisel, get laid, and get laid good, by a man and a woman. You will never meet another human being who lives up to your expectations, get over it. Men will be men, but woman will be woman.
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I love hippies the most of all. I've decided to give you Angelina Jolie's slot, especially since she keeps rescheduling to go adopt third world babies.
 
Donovan said:
I love hippies the most of all. I've decided to give you Angelina Jolie's slot, especially since she keeps rescheduling to go adopt third world babies.
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Well I would like to say that I am flatterd Donovan. I tried to reach Angelina myself, but she didn't want to put the "Lara Croft" outfit on, so I declined.
As for you, hippie lover, If you were so kind as to devote even 15 minutes of your time, I would be ever so grateful. I just would like to warn you of what would happen however.
I would take ropes and restrain you, tieing you to a wooden post. Blindfold you, gag you, and put you in the middle of eloisel's Island of Godesses and Gay Men, and you would have no choice but to enjoy yourself Donovan!
So, when was that spot open?
 
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